Wednesday, October 8, 2008

Home Study begins

1st Home Study Visit - On September 30, 2008 our first meeting with SW for our home study was meeting us at 6pm. I went to work that morning because If I would of stayed home I would of had a heartattack. I even went to the gym on my lunch our to get all relaxed. Aroud 2 pm, I left work and headed home. I stopped to get buddy on my way home so he can come and play with Sam and Zoe. I didn't want the dogs to be all hyper when she got to our place and they would not leave us alone. When I got home with buddy, my 2 babies (dogs) were not impressed that mommy was coming back with another dog. I let them outside for half an hour and they didn't want to play. They wanted to be with mommy. So I had to go bring buddy home. My plan had back fired. Oh well.

Renee and Amanda came over and kept me company. Instead of cleaning everything else again I was able to sit down and talk with them to get my mine off our meeting. Victor came home from work early and had time to relax as well.

6 O'clock sharp, she was coming in the driveway. She came in and as soon as I saw her, I know I was able to relax. She seemed like a sweet girl. We sat down in the living room and started our meeting. She made us feel comfortable and relaxed. We were laughing and everything. Even half way in the meeting, both Sam and Zoe came in the living room and sat on the couch right beside her. She laughed. Towards the end, I asked her if she was going to inspect our home and she said that's not what she was here for. She said the last visit, she will go in all the rooms to describe our home for her report , but nothing to inspect. I just took a deep breath at that moment and say AMEN!!!! We then explaine to her that Victor was finishing up the baby room and it was not quite ready. She said if it's not ready by the end of the last visit, she'll just put a note in the file that it will be his winter project. Not more than that. We both giggled and I said, so I can give him a weekend off? She found it very amusing on how hard we were both working to get this home study done. ( 2 1/2 hours long)

October 8, 2008 - today we went to lawyer, Melanie Marquis in Blue Cross Building to get our letters notorize and true copies of our passport, birth certificate, marriage certificate and Victor's divorce certificate. Isabelle had reffered me to her. Once were were all done, she said she wasn't going to charge us for the visit. That was a bonus. We thanked her and told her we would come see her again for our will. We will be making a will when we get the referral. One thing that we had to talk about was find a legual gardian for our daughter. We decided that we wanted Nicole to be the legal gardian and she accepted.

Since the home study started, I started getting the urge to start baking. I want to be able to show my daughter how to bake cookies, cakes... and unfortunalty at this time in my life, I don't have a clue how to do it. I started by calling Noella for some receipies and she even came and helped me out with my first attempt to do a "peanut butter roll". It was so yummy. Renee attempted to bake a chocolate cake with me and it was a success.

2nd Home Study visit - Oct 8, 2008 2pm

Victor had his meeting alone with her at his office in Shediac. I think I was more nerveous than him. I'm use to making sure everyting is alright and this time, I had absolutly no part in this. I guess I just had to let go and let him have his meeting alone. When we got home that evening, I was really excitted to hear abou this meeting. He said it was good and nothing for me to be nervious about. I felt a releif.

3rd Home Study visit - Oct 21, 2008 2pm

Cindy met me at my work. I had taken an empty office in HR to have my meeting. It didn't start too good because on our way in the hall I met a guy that I work with and said hello, and didn't have his name right. He corrected me and I felt like an idiot. She just laught and said it happens. Ah well not worth trying to explain my stupidnest. We talked for more than 1 1/2. I was ok but I really felt interrigated. I was not comfortable at all doing this alone. I was really glad when I was done. I knew it went ok but she kept on pushing on my attitude on tring to make everything perfect and not letting my emotions flow. I was trying to stay calm and saying that I am perfectly normal but she wanted to make sure that I was not causing myself any allusions and that it was ok not to have everything prepared in advance for upcoming events or moments. I really felt that I was seeing a pschrinc LOL! At this time, Cindy didn't want to schedual our last session with her now becaue I was leaving for Ottawa last week of October and she was not sure when she would have the home study report ready. She said she would call me the Monday after Halloween. The weekend before my trip to GTEC in Ottawa, Victor and I drove to Halifax Saturday, Oct 25, 2008 to go look at cars for sale. We left late and sort of talked about staying the night. I was going to say we absolutly have to go home becaue we didn't bring any change of cloths... I then stoped and said that's it! I have to do something spontanious for once and not have everyting planned out and gooled or checked reviews on trip advisor before actioning something. I said to myself that I have never heard of anyone dying after having stayed at a hotel with no change of cloths LOL! We stayed at the New Marriott downtown Halifax. I was so imbarase when the valet parking guy asked us if we wanted help with our luggage and we had to say we didn't have any... On top of that, I even asked for toothbrushes and tootpast at the front desk. I could not believe I had just done that. I felt like a real rebble. hahaha. After that night, I was able to tell myself that I am now ready for my trip to Ghana. I am prepared for the unknown... so I think. We'll see on my blog when I returne.

I guess that I am seeing a trend in my life now. I am changing a bit of my attitude and my way of thinking. I'm not sure if I was affraid or just didn't want to try new things, but I feel that I am now more open minded and am willing to try new things to be a better person.

4th Home Study visit - Nov 10, 2008 6pm

Cindy came by our home for the last time to do the tour and meet the girls. For some reason I was not as nerveous as I thought I would be. She came in and did the tour at first. Then we sat down and she asked us a few questions that she needed for the report and then met with Nicole and Renee. She said that now that I twas over she was going to send the report to Genevieve and it would probably talke a 4 to 6 weeks before they approve it. The only thing she was questioning is that we live right on the ocean and wanted to know if it was a cliff and if it would be any danger to a child. She wanted to make sure that she could answer the question if it was asked by Genevieve. So now we wait a month to hear from Genevieve. I hope we can get everyting approved by the province and have our dossier sent to Imagine Adoption before Christmas. I think that would be one of my best gifts and who knows, we might have our baby girl home for Christmas for the following Chritmas (2009). That would be a blessing.

As of Nov 12, 2008 we have 188,963 aeroplans points for our trip to Ghana.

Mommy Group - get together

Sept 24 - My first Mommy Group get together.

For the first time, I was not scared to meet new people. I felt that I was already part of the group. I was soo excitted that day thinking that I was about the meet other woman that were going through the same emotions and stories as me. The night went by soo quickly. Everyone there re-assured me that our homestudy was going to be fine and I should not stress. I know they are right but I just have to get it over it to be able to relax. Some of them already had their child and some of them were in the early stage like me and others were waiting for their referral. It was amazing to see how much of our stories can relate.

Days are passing, i've been listeneing to my vm's at home almost every hour to make sure she hasn't left us a message. Finally Friday came and still no call. I luckily had her email because a collegue of mine from work knows her and had given me her email to get in touch with her at the begining when I wasn't sure if the SW was assigning us someone or we had to do our own work. I send her an email stating that our SW had advised us that she had accepted our dossier and she was suppose to contact us for an appointment. The reason why I was writting to her was because I was planning a trip to Ottawa for work and I wanted to make sure that my trip was not going to interfer with our homestudy dates. Not even a half hour passed and I get a call at work from her that she wanted to schedule our first meeting. That day was going to be Sept 30, 2008 at 6pm. Oh my god, this is the one thing that I had been waiting anxiously for. I know I have to get it over with and the sooner the better. Let me tell you, I was not making any life that weekend. I cleaned every part of our house even after our cleaning lady was here on the Firday. I even cleaned all the light bulbs in the house. I know I went over board but if I hadn't done that, It would of not been normal for me.