Wednesday, July 29, 2009

How sick can you be...

It seems that the frustration and anger is all coming back after reading the article on Imagine. I cannot believe that there are such people on this earth. I’m sure their fun is all over now. I am very sad for the children in all this and the families that are trying desperately to bring home the children. I sure hope that justice will be made and that they will get WHAT THEY DESERVE!!!

Monday, July 27, 2009

Weekend full of fun

Friday, July 24th, Victor and I were on our way to Saint John for adoption workshop being held by Gentle Path Counseling Services. It was fun to meet other adoptive families. We had a fun weekend. We stayed at the Delta which was nice. It was kind of nice to have the bed to ourselves and not share with 2 boxers. As soon as we walked in the conference room, JR, admin assistant to Gentle Path told me that he got our file ready to be sent out to our SW to do our homestudy update. I was so happy to hear that.

This is us in Saint John.

Friday before we left for Saint John, I watch a video clip that is posted on our orphanage’s website in Haiti. I was in tears. I just wanted to be there and help with all those children. On our way to Saint John, it stayed in the back of my mind. I just need to get to Haiti before Christmas.

After thinking about it for a few days, I made up my mind and I am making a commitment of going there before Christmas. I’ve already send out emails to my family and friends that I am going to the orphanage for a week to do some volunteer work. I have asked for donations that the orphanage can use. I still don’t know who else is coming with me but I am DETERMIND to go. I know that I cannot get fully prepared for the emotional part of this trip but it’s something that I will have to deal with once there. I’ve become a stronger person this year and I think it was to prepare me with this life experience. I feel that by doing this now before we receive our child’s referral, I will be able to enjoy our trips on family weeks once we do have our daughter.

Monday, July 20, 2009

Haiti is a go for us

Things are on the move for me again for me. At least this time I am not running in circles. I know what I am doing and things are moving fast to start our Dossier for Haiti.

Already done:
Orphanage approved our application – July 16, 2009
Criminal Checks – Got them done on Friday July 17, 2009
Medicals - Got them done today July 20, 2009
Finished filling out forms for Gentle Path Counseling Services – July 20, 2009

So basically I am sending the forms to Gentle Path tomorrow and should be able to receive a call from SW to do our homestudy update next week if all goes well or the week after. I got a call from Director of Gentle Path today to let me know that we have to take a mandatory course on adoption before our homestudy can get updated. There is a course this weekend in Saint John so last minute, we are going. I remember last year around this time when I was gathering up our dossier, I was going out of my mind. I was really stressed and could not get appointments soon enough. This time around, everything is running smoothly. I sure hope this whole process can continue to run like this. I accomplished a lot today and surprisingly it’s my Dads Birthday today. I think he was with me today helping me out. His birthday and he is still doing everything for me 

At the same time, I am reading on all the Yahoo and Facebook groups on Imagine Adoption bankruptcy. There are lots of people working hard to get their voice heard. I feel bad that I am no longer fighting but we had made our decision to go with Haiti. I know we’ve made the right decision for us. I don’t think I could of handled the news if we had not talked about switching. I will do what is needed to support my Ghana group. I was part of the journey and still feel connected to all of them. My heart goes out to all of the families that have been affected.

I am thinking of my dad today on his birthday. I hope he is watching over us and will help us take the right turnes when we get to another crossroad. Love you and miss you lots DAD xoxo.

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Our Agency went Bankrupt!

Well there it is. Our agency went bankrupt. What a story.

After all we’ve been through this year, I would of not imagined anything like this happening. All of this came out Monday July 13, 2009. Funny it was that last week, we started talking about other options. I had even contacted my caseworker at Imagine and she had told me we could pull out at any time and get 50% of the agency fee and all of the other cheque that was suppose to go to the orphanage when we would accept our proposal. Monday I emailed her to asked how long it would take to have our Dossier back and then I was going to send our official email saying we were pulling out of the program. My caseworker usually reads my email pretty quickly she sometimes don’t answer right away but she would always acknowledge that she had read it. After I got back from the gym on my lunch hour, I checked my emails and had not seen a response from my caseworker yet. I found it weird but then started reading my friends email telling me not to panic but she had heard rumors that Imagine had gone bankrupt. I picked up the phone and called her right way. Not knowing what to say, I told her I would call Imagine and just asked her how long it would take for our dossier to get back to Canada. First time in a year that I call the agency and I get voice mail. I knew right there that it was not a rumor. It was true.

Now that I had a few days to vent, I know now why we had a change of hearts and why I was at the crossroad on Sunday night. I knew something was going to happen deep down and needed to be ready for the change. I was not attached to Ghana because I had not a picture yet. I am heartbroken for the families that were further ahead in the process that us. There are 100’s of families that are going to be fighting to bring home their children. I am praying for all of them. I don’t want anything to happen to does children. This is not the children’s fault. They don’t deserve this.

We lost faith in the agency, however we didn’t lose faith in our dream. I guess Ghana was not where we needed to be. We were maybe there for a dry run and now the real challenge is beginning. I have made some contacts and am ready to start this all over again. A year has passed and I am fully committed to start process #2 with Haiti. This time I am not using an agency. I am doing this on my own with the help of some friends.

Sunday, July 12, 2009

Crossroad ahead… witch way to go?

After all this waiting to hear some news whether or not the Ghana program is staying open, I honestly don’t have any more energy to waist on refreshing my email to get the news. I feel that I have absolutely no power, nothing to say. We hired an agency to do the work for us and its starting to get on my nerves. When I want something, I want it NOW and don’t want to wait for someone to do it for me. I know I was all positive during this difficult time, but it’s got to end sometime. I am sick and tired of getting no answer. They can’t even tell us what the meetings are all about. I am not saying that I’m losing faith in this journey, I just think that we’ve reached a crossroad and we have to choose which way to go. I still believe 100% that Kyanna is coming home, but maybe Ghana was not meant to be. I think that she was not ready to come home and we needed this year to get organized and give me more time to sleep in 

I’ve been talking with a few couples from around home and they have adopted from Haiti. This program is fast to receive your referral but can take up to 2 years to be able to travel to bring your child home. It’s not longer that Ethiopia. The only thing is that we would not go through an agency this time. We would need to gather up our dossier and send it ourselves. Being in charge will make me feel more at ease and will be in direct contact with orphanage and SW. Did is not 100% yet but we are getting more information to make our decision. Tomorrow, I will be meeting with a lady that is waiting to go get her 2 siblings in Haiti. She is going to explain to me the process and will hopefully be able to make a decision after. I also met a guy that I work with that is leaving in a few weeks to go get his daughter in Haiti. He is just waiting for the Visa.

Like I said, I am not losing faith, I just think that faith is telling us to change directions and I am following what my heart is telling me.

Wednesday, July 8, 2009


Today is July 8th, 2009. While I was not able to sleep good last night, I woke up and was relaxed. I asked my dad before leaving the house to help me get through today. Hopefully we will get an email with some GOOD News. When I started the car, there it was, Africa by Karl Wolf on the radio. This is my dad's sign once again. He is letting me know that he is there and helping out as much as I can. That's all I needed to put a big happy smile on my face.

Will hopefully post somthing else later on tonight!

Here are a few pictures of our summer so far.

Tuesday, July 7, 2009

Sleepless nights

Today, July 7, 2009 was supposed to be the day…again, that we find out if the Ghana program was remaining open or closing. I cannot count how many times I refreshed my email ever hour today. After 4 pm I realized that we would not get an update. I know I should be feeling really anxious but I am not. I still hold that feeling inside that it will all workout. I am visualizing and thinking about the moment when I will receive the email from Imagine. I am seeing joy, tears of happiness. I have accepted that this will most likely take a long time before we get Kyanna home, but it will happen.

Another strange thing happened to me Monday June 6, 2009. As I was telling you in previous blogs, I have always been faithful of the Ghana program. Since the last few updates we received from our agency, I started to get hesitant and was sort of seeking for other programs. My subconscious was telling me to look elsewhere but I was putting the stop to it. I finally decided to go ahead and look. Gathering information cannot harm anyone. It just prepares you for the future if ever needed.

Anyways, this is what I found:
Haiti: One of the couple has to be more than 35, and be married for 10 years at a minimum.
St. Vincent: Waiting list until progress is made
Ethiopia: maybe a waiting list now and a long wait for sure (approximately 2 years)
China: 4-5 years minimum

After thinking about all the other options, I started to panic somewhat for the wait time for our home study update, if we have to switch program. I called my DSW in Moncton and had forgotten that they don’t deal with the home studies anymore; it was a 3rd party company. She gave me the name and number to contact if we do decide to switch. At this point I didn’t want to make the call just yet because I am still holding on to Ghana. All of this seeking was just for my peace of mind and knowing that there could be other options, however it’s not looking that good. I was just about to email the SW that did our homestudy and then decided to hold off. I was not ready to make that move yet. So off I went to the gym thinking about my SW and COINCIDENTLY I ran into her in the locker room at the gym. We talked for a bit and she assured me that if we need to do a homestudy update, it would not take long at all. She said she could be at our home probably the next day and not much would have to be done. We talked about the Ghana program for a bit and I felt relieved. Even if I was asking her questions in regards to the closing of the program, I felt that Ghana can still work. I will continue to believe and am asking god to help.
Once again, I am writing this down because I am 100% confident that this program will be successful and all this research just proved to me that there are no other options for us. We have to stick to what we believe in and go all the way. I am going to bed right now and will be visualizing great moments to come.

Good night!