Sleepless nights

Today, July 7, 2009 was supposed to be the day…again, that we find out if the Ghana program was remaining open or closing. I cannot count how many times I refreshed my email ever hour today. After 4 pm I realized that we would not get an update. I know I should be feeling really anxious but I am not. I still hold that feeling inside that it will all workout. I am visualizing and thinking about the moment when I will receive the email from Imagine. I am seeing joy, tears of happiness. I have accepted that this will most likely take a long time before we get Kyanna home, but it will happen.

Another strange thing happened to me Monday June 6, 2009. As I was telling you in previous blogs, I have always been faithful of the Ghana program. Since the last few updates we received from our agency, I started to get hesitant and was sort of seeking for other programs. My subconscious was telling me to look elsewhere but I was putting the stop to it. I finally decided to go ahead and look. Gathering information cannot harm anyone. It just prepares you for the future if ever needed.

Anyways, this is what I found:
Haiti: One of the couple has to be more than 35, and be married for 10 years at a minimum.
St. Vincent: Waiting list until progress is made
Ethiopia: maybe a waiting list now and a long wait for sure (approximately 2 years)
China: 4-5 years minimum

After thinking about all the other options, I started to panic somewhat for the wait time for our home study update, if we have to switch program. I called my DSW in Moncton and had forgotten that they don’t deal with the home studies anymore; it was a 3rd party company. She gave me the name and number to contact if we do decide to switch. At this point I didn’t want to make the call just yet because I am still holding on to Ghana. All of this seeking was just for my peace of mind and knowing that there could be other options, however it’s not looking that good. I was just about to email the SW that did our homestudy and then decided to hold off. I was not ready to make that move yet. So off I went to the gym thinking about my SW and COINCIDENTLY I ran into her in the locker room at the gym. We talked for a bit and she assured me that if we need to do a homestudy update, it would not take long at all. She said she could be at our home probably the next day and not much would have to be done. We talked about the Ghana program for a bit and I felt relieved. Even if I was asking her questions in regards to the closing of the program, I felt that Ghana can still work. I will continue to believe and am asking god to help.
Once again, I am writing this down because I am 100% confident that this program will be successful and all this research just proved to me that there are no other options for us. We have to stick to what we believe in and go all the way. I am going to bed right now and will be visualizing great moments to come.

Good night!