Week 3 – Back to work

Honeymoon is over! I really missed my baby girl today at work. All I could think of is her. Will it be like this every day now??? When I pulled in the driveway at daycare, she was standing by the gate waiting for me with her thumb in her mouth and twirling her hair. You should have seen the expression on her face when she saw me running over to her with my harm wide open. I asked the daycare workers if she just stands there and wait for me. They said she starts checking for me when the parents start picking up their children.

George!!! Kyanne has been asking for her all weekend. She told me that George was going to come back and she was going to give her a big huge and lots of kisses. I felt so helpless. We sat down and we talked about George for a bit and I told her that George was her angle now and she is going to protect her. I don’t think Kyanne will forget George... Kyanne really loved her.

Kyanne had a very busy weekend. She had 2 birthday parties. One of them was a little boy that she goes to daycare with. I can’t believe she is already getting invited to friend’s birthday parties at 2 years old.

Update from previous post

I just snuck in to see how daddy was doing...

Funny things that happened today after work...

Kyanne grabbed her play keys, had her doll under her arm and waved me goodbye. She said “Bye mommy, see you, love you”. I asked her where she was going and she said she was bringing her baby to daycare. I was laughing so hard. She is growing up too fast for me.

While I was preparing supper, she came to me with the dental floss. I stopped what I was doing to go show her in front of the mirror how to floss her own teeth. I walked back in the kitchen to finish what I was doing and realized I could not hear her. Was she in trouble I thought??? I went to check on her and there she was, her hands in Sam’s mouth trying to floss her teeth LOL! Sam had the weirdest look in her eyes... I think she wanted to bark for help, but she had a long string in her mouth!

If you would see me go in the evenings, you would think I’m on fast forward... I am still trying to do everything myself but I think I will need to slow down at one point. Today for the first time, I had a huge headache a few hours before I was done work. I think the getting up at 5:30 am is starting to get to me. So far I’m managing. Supper is served, laundry is done, house is somewhat presentable and we still get to spend lots of quality time together.

I am happy to report that daddy is now able to put Kyanne to bed. When I was on parental leave, I sort of wanted to be with her all the time and did not really ask for any assistance, but I now think it’s a good time to start taking turns so I can get some stuff done in the evenings. When I’m in her room for a good hour, I no longer have the intention of doing anything else. The first night was not good. She kept crying out my name and I finally gave in and got her sleeping. The second evening it did not even take him half an hour. As I am writing right now, I can hear them talking in her room. He is reading her a bedtime story.

Another funny story... The first night daddy did the bedtime routine, I was sitting quietly listening and I heard daddy say “Kyanne you will have to get up and find the book you want... daddy does not know who Ariel is LOL!  

For the first time today, Kyanne did not cry or whine when I dropped her off or picked her up at daycare. Even in the evening, she would normally whine if I did not give her my full attention, but tonight she was a happy camper. When she got out of the shower, she wanted to stay cuddled up in the towel and play baby. She said she was mommies baby and she was going to sleep in my arms.

HE only sends us what we can handle…

2 weeks ago, we lost my very own shadow! We had to saygoodbye to George our dear boxer. All of a sudden, that Sunday evening shestarted having problems breathing. We thought she had eaten something and wastrying to gag but that was not the case. After 3 days at the vet, the endresult was that she has a collapse lung and the air was in her stomach. Shecould not even laydown to rest. I had stayed on the couch with her for 2nights. We could no longer watch her suffer. George was the youngest of ourboxers and had energy like you would not believe. We miss her dearly, but weknow she’s now in a better place and I can bet you that she’s somewhere on abeach playing with those seagulls LOL! Maybe in this new lifetime she’s in, shemight even be best buddies with them…
Kyanne has been asking for her a lot; however Sam has steppedup and is taking over George’s duties. She comes to bed with us when I put herto bed at night and she will stay there all night to watch over her. We borrowDozer a lot, Sam’s brother that lives next door so she doesn’t stay depress onthe couch all the time. The 2 of them are alike. They both like to eat andsleep. I think Sam’s life is going to be a bit more relaxed now.

Having Kyanne in my life, it has helped me get back on trackpretty quickly. I don’t have time to sit down and cry. I am extremely busy. Ichose to remember her for what good she did for us. I told Kyanne that she wasnow her Guide and she will be watching over her.
Yes! I started work again and I am not DEAD yet!!!! It wasnot as bad as I had visualized it. I guess I just didn’t want to get out of mycomfort zone. We’ve had no problem getting up early in the morning so far.Kyanne is very responsive and she follows what I ask her to do. I don’t want torush her to much but we are making the best at getting ready quickly.

Coming home is the fun part! I can’t reach her day care fastenough to bring her home. I had a scenario picked out in my head that we wouldget home and it would sort of be like the military. Have to do everythingquickly so we don’t run out of time sort of thing but it’s the total opposite.We get home and we have FUN! I make sure I give her some fruits so she doesn’tstarve and off we go to the beach with Sam or go play in her swing set. I don’trush to get supper ready. I realized that I am not one to prepare the daybefore. I tried it the first day and I failed. I like preparing my food when Iam ready to eat it. Once we stayed outside for a good 45 minutes, we slowly getsupper ready. I really enjoy our evening so far.

On a happy note… Kyanne ate BROCCOLI with me for the firsttime this week. I made my own cheese sauce and she at them all.  (Thank you Liette)!!!!
So all and all, life is good! I think I will survive andlike waking up in the morning and going to work. I’m not saying I like my work,but it will have to do for now.

George… I loved her like she was my child. I still do. Shewas there every time I cried for Kyanne to come home to us. She was there totransition Kyanne in her new forever family. She was there for my parental leave. I’ve never seen anyone so happy to seeus come home. She was a loyal dog. So all that to say… I believe that she hadserved her purpose in this lifetime. Having to come home to George and Kyanneafter a full day at work, it would have been very hard on me to be able to givethem all the attention they need. Sam on the other hand, she is happy to seeus. She will give us big kisses and then do her thing. George was not like thatat all. She needed 100% of my attention. When I was on parental leave, I wasmanaging, but in the back of my mind, I knew that someone would suffer when Iwas going to go back to work. If George did not get the attention she needed,she would have just sat on me or got up on her back legs and tried to hug me toget my attention. For the time being, we will not get another dog. I thinkeverything happens for a reason and this incident happened for a reason. Notbecause we wanted George to leave us, but because it was her time to go. Shewas probably needed somewhere else. Good bye and we miss you dearly!!!!

Oh and Christina! I did not tell you at lunch about Geroge because I didn’t want to cry the whole hour. I knew that I would eventually post it on my blog and you would see it.

 Sam and Geroge last day together.

 Last family photo with George.

 My lovely girls all cuddled up.

 Kyanne trying to eat dog food with George.

 Kyanne's first few weeks at home. She was just getting to know Sam and George.

 George having fun in the sand.

George could not leave mommy alone even when I was sick. She had to find a spot on the couch to be with me.

 

 Kyanne's first full day at daycare!

Mommy's first day back to work as well...

Seriously! Am I going back to jail???

Having spent the most beautiful summer ever with my loving daughter Kyanne, I am now sick to my stomach.

For the past few months, we’ve been having breakfast each morning outside appreciating the view of the ocean followed by a nice walk on the beach with the dogs. I seriously tried to get us doing chores or go to Moncton to run some errands, but it’s been just too nice and hot every day.  After Kyanne’s nap, we normally did some activities. We either went to the beach with Théo and Liette go to my friend’s pools or take walks in the parks. Why does it have to come to an end???

Why am I feeling this way anyways? Kyanne has adjusted extremely well in daycare. I take her twice a week and she just loves it. You would think that I should be happy about it.

Yesterday we had our last playdate with Théo and Liette as status “parental leave”. Liette is returning to work next Monday. We’ll now have to see each other on weekends. I didn’t think it would have affected me but I’ve had tears in my eyes all day today. I just don’t want to go back to work. I think the problem is that I just don’t like my work. Yes I have a good secure job... I think... but I just don’t really care for it. I don’t think I was brought on this planet to work at a desk all day.

Since Kyanne came home to us, my life has changed. Yes for the better that is!!! It was not an easy job being a mommy to a toddler for the first time. We’ve had some good and bad times, but we both grew together and learned who we truly are deep down inside. I love doing things spur of the moment, not having a schedule. I love being able to appreciate the mornings at home. That being said... I now know that in order for me to be truly happy, inside and out, I need to find a job that fits my needs. I don’t want a job 8 to 5 bull shit...

Yes I will be back to work in 2 weeks, but I will be focusing on changing what I do. Kyanne has brought so much joy in my life. I am her roll model right now. I am teaching her right from wrong. I am teaching her to be her best. I can’t teach her all that if I am not doing it myself. I want her to learn to be herself and not what others think she should be.  Taking the easy path does not mean you’re happy at the end. It just means you made a decision to settle for less.

So am I really going to change? Don’t know. All I know is that I needed to write it down and tell someone. What a better place than my blog so everyone knows how I feel right now lol!  

Off I go now to get Kyanne from daycare. We have a playdate with the girls I grew up back when I was in school. It’s going to be fun!

So are the terrible 2zzzzzzzzzzzzz not wanting to sleep?????????

Kyanne has decided she no longer wants to nap and sleep at night. Last night it was another 1 hr ½ upstairs. I had decided that I was not going to sleep with her last night. I stayed by her bed after we read her story and to my surprise; she did not like the idea. At one point I even left her room and went to take a shower to calm down. She cried and cried while I was by her bed. I think it’s going to be a rough week but I have to do it. The rest of our time together, she’s the best little girl a mother could possibly have. I guess we just have to get through this week and see how it will turn out.

Right now, It’s 1pm and I’ve been trying to get her to nap for the past half hour. Usually, nap time, I just get her all comfortable on the couch upstairs and I go in my room and sing. Today is a different story. I even put the gate so she could not come downstairs and she managed to get down. It’s a nice day and I am not wasting it on waiting for her to sleep. If she does not fall asleep in the next 15 minutes, baby girl is going to be tired tonight and she’ll be in bed early. I am not wasting my energy on waiting! Thank god we had a good morning on the beach. We did some yoga for a good half hour and played in the sand. I love our beach time with the dogs in the morning. It’s such a peaceful time for me. I am very grateful for my family!!!

Adoption Pool Party

Yesterday we attended the annually adoption pool party at Mary,  one of the mommy group’s home. This was our first time over and we absolutely had a great time. It was fun to see all the families together having a good time. Kyanne loved being in the pool, however we had to get her out because she was cold and did not realize it hahah!



Bed time routine is getting worst!

This was writing last Thursday...As I’m writing right now, I am hiding in my closet LOL! Today was a big day for Kyanne. I sent her to daycare for half a day and now I am getting daddy to put her down for bed. I love spending my time with her so much but I know it’s for her own good. All I can hear right now is “’MAMA... MAMA MAMA MAMA!!!!” I feel like running to her but she’s with her daddy. I know he can handle it... I just didn’t give him the chance to try! I can hear him reading her a story. Hopefully she will fall asleep.

Daycare was a breeze. I know Renée is there but she told me she got the other worker to change her diaper, wash her hands... and she did well. She stayed for the sieste and slept for more than an hour. Wow!!!

The last couple of days, we spent them with Liette and Théo. We had a great time at the beach. We are very fortunate that they both love the beach.

Now we are Monday, July 9^th and to finish my story, daddy was not able to make her fall asleep. I could re-phrase that and say that mommy could no longer listen to her baby crying out “mama, I want mama’! I had tears rolling down my face. I walked into her room and she gave me the biggest ever. I guess I set myself in my own trap. How do I break it off now???

Last night when I came downstairs after I had put her to bed, Victor and I talked and realized that the sleeping arrangement is not getting any better. It now takes me 1 hr ½ to make her fall asleep. I honestly don’t know if I can do it. I don’t think I have the heart to listen to her cry for me. I was not even able to go walk the dogs last night without her crying for me.

I’ll report tonight how it’s going to go! I might get the courage to try and get her to fall asleep alone. L

Warm welcome at Daycare!

Being an over protective mommy, I decided to spend a few hours a week at daycare with Kyanne so she would get used to the environment and new faces. She absolutely loves it. After a few times staying with her to play, I told her that mommy was going to work. She did not like it at first, however it did not take her long to get distracted with all the fun stuff. I walked up the car and stayed there for a few minutes and came back to see her. I heard her screaming “Mommy” with a big smile on her face. She understood that mommy had gone to work and came back to get her. All week we’ve been practicing saying mommy is going to work and then Kyanne says” After Kyanne”. She is so smart!!! It helps that Renée is working at the daycare for the summer. J

Tuesday, after her nap, Kyanne was not herself. When I picked her up to cuddle I found she was very warm. She has a fever. Mommy decided to change the past of the day and we relaxed on the patio in the shade while Kyanne slept all afternoon and evening. Poor girl was not feeling good. Like always, when she’s not feeling good, she wants mommy to stay by her side. I took out my new book and stayed on the patio couch with her all day.

2 nights after, Kyanne was feeling restless during the night. Nothing I could do would make her comfortable. I soon realized she got her initiation of daycare. She had hand, mouth and foot disease. I guess it was going around at daycare so my little girl got her fist disease. Not too impress, but what can I do??? I am scheduled to go back to work September 10^th. I decided to go earlier than expected. If I would have stayed till the end of November, it would be a huge pay cut for the rest of the year. This way, I am only taking 5 weeks extra to enjoy the summer and will start the routine with everyone else in September. That way, we’ll be able to afford more vacation. J

Oh and yes! We had a lovely time in Banff/Calgary!!! Kyanne is such a good traveler. The views of the mountains are just breath taking! Words and pictures cannot describe how beautiful it is out there. Kyanne had a fun meeting uncle Mathieu. She was comfortable with him the minute she saw him. I guess we talked about him enough that she was probably thinking “Finally! I get to meet Mathieu!!!”

Here's the link to our picutres

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151796994325147.860266.895080146&type=3&l=f09e2f8027

Other than that, Kyanne is growing so fast. We are enjoying our time together. What I like the most is getting up in the morning with my cup of coffee and relaxing outside in our pajamas on the deck hearing the ocean and the birds tweet.

What a day!

Kyanne seemed to be feeling a little under the weather this morning so I decided to play it low today and stay home. What was I thinking!!! It did not take me long to realize that it was a mistake LOL! I guess Kyanne is just like me and she gets restless when we’re home and its not nice to be outdoors. My head was spining by lunch time. I started the bedtime routine a little early so I could get some peace and quiete tonight and what do you know... I sit down to relax and sam vomits all over the coutch! Poor dog was sick but I did not need that tonight. On top of all that, today felt like winter again. We went in the water twice already at the beach and today, we need a hat!

Enoug with the negativity...  I haven’t blogged in a while so I am posting some pictures from the past month.  My baby girl is growing so fast that I feel that I can't keep up. Her verbal communication is getting better and better every day. She is now able to say short sentences. She can say that she has a runny nose LOL!

Tomorrow is another day and I’ll make sure to get a good dose of vitamine D!!! Yes vitamine D... no sun, means cranky mommy.



 I think it's a wedding proposal LOL!

 Kyanne with her cousins at Parlee Beach.

 Kyanne and Théo celebrating Haitian Flag Day!

 Playing around in the parc with a special friend,

 Kyanne doing finger painting for the first time.

 @ the Beach!

 Mothers Day! xoxo

 Kyanne and daddy eating a sandwich.

 Playing in the rain.

 @ the beach with cousins.

 Just like at GLA... taking a nap in the swing.

 Cuddle time!

 More cuddle time.

 First attempt to cut Kyanne's hair... :(

 Kyanne's new bed. She is some happy girl now that she is not trapped in her crib.

 First breakfast outside. It was such a  beautiful morning.

 Kyanne showing Théo and Liette our beach for the fist time.

 Playing in her new bed.

 At the Zoo.

 Did I say I'm looking might hot in my bikini LOL!

 Bringing her doll for a stroll on the beach.

Playing in the sand with Théo.

Laptop died

I haven’t been blogging too much lately. My laptop is dead and I just ordered a new one a few days ago. I honestly don’t miss it that much. Just my blogging part that I miss. 

To give you an update on Kyanne… she’s now is a big girls bed. No more crib. We are doing so well now during the night. Since she got her new bed, she rarely wakes up during the night. She might wake up around 6 am and I just go sleep with her till 8 am. When she wakes up, she no longer cries. She just walks to our bed and says ‘maman’!!!

She absolutely adores her play set outdoor. Every night, we now say goodnight to her play set and the beach. I am happy to report that she will be a beach bum like her mommy! Today, she was running at the beach with the dogs. She was making big splashes. If I hadn’t stopped her she would of went for a swim. J

Our trip to Banff is all set. My brother finally got a cell and I was able to reach him. He took a few days off so he’ll be able meet us there. 

Follow your gut instinct and follow the signs LOL!

Well, my stepdaughter, Nicole got invited to go for a show at the Fairmont Banff Springs in the beginning of June for a few days for work. Do you think that I would let that opportunity pass up??? I guess not. This morning, I found flights for Renée and myself on Aeroplans and was just about to put in my credit card info and realized that I could not find it. I stepped back for a moment and sort of thought that it was a sign not to go!!! I checked in the car, in all my jackets, pants... nowhere to be found. My sweet dear guardian angels gave me a gift. That’s right!!! You know me and not opening my mail.... there it was an envelope from CIBC addressed in my name. Our Visa was expiring and they had sent me our new ones. How can you not believe in signs from our angels!!! They saved my day once again and we are reserved to go to Banff for a girl’s getaway. That’s right. Victor is not coming. He has to work. It’s there busy season. I asked him last night how he felt about me bringing all the girls to the other side of our Country and he said ‘If that’s what you girls desire, go for it!’ He just can’t believe that I am ready to bring Kyanne on a plan again. Mommy is so ready to do this. I never been out west and I could feel it calling me. I can’t wait to be in the beautiful mountains. So no plans yet on what we are going to do but I will be googling for some info in the next few days. I don’t know if we are going to rent a car or whatever... I get lost in Moncton so I don’t know how I would do in a strange place. Renée is no better than me with directions. Nicole will be at her conference so we are going to be Renée, Kyanne and I for the first few days.

What a nice gift for Kyanne and I. We are leaving June 5^th and will be returning home June 10^th. It’s a short visit but we are going to make the most out of it. We’ll be home for our Birthdays on June 14 and 15^th!!!!

Who on planet Earth does not have a cell???? Could I say my dear brother Mathieu who lives in Edmonton and I want to tell him to take a few days off and come see us in Banff! Everyone in Haiti has a cell, but not my brother. He just moved into a new apartment a few weeks ago and he left a vm to my mom that when he gets a phone, he will let us know...  

Getting ready for Summer!!!

 

So much fun with Théo and his mom Liette. I wish we could be on parental leave until they go to school! I am going to keep on praying that I can stay home for a few more years and who knows... it might come true!!!

 Kyanne and Renée at Chapters having lunch.

 

Victor is building the play set in the garage and we should have it out by the weekend if it doesn’t rain too much. It will be so much fun this summer when Liette and Théo come for playdates. I had to get Kyanne the swing she loved so much at GLA. I did give in! She always makes a big fuss when she sees that swing, but the swings that came with the set are for older children so I had to get something that she can use now.

I am so happy! Kyanne can now say Sam!!! It actually sounds like San but who cares! We were out on the beach this evening and she was calling the dog’s names to come back. They were running too fast for her. It was so cute to watch her say, San, George, Zack vien ici!!!

 

Do you think I went overboard with my shopping this afternoon??? I was really just going in for the swing... but I saw the nice cars and kitchen set that she absolutely loves to play with when we go to Chapters for our playdates.

 Théo is showing Kyanne how to be cool!

Kyanne is showing Théo how that big machine works. She knows because Daddy plays with them at work. LOL!