My Horoscope

I read that in the plane last night coming home from Ottawa. You won't go wrong this week trusting your instincts - especially in matters of the heart. Whether in business or pleasure, success will come your way.

I called my caseworker today and expressed how we still wanted to go on with Ghana. There is nothing more that I want right now but somehow I just don't feel any good vibes. I am not getting discourage, but I just feel empty. I feel that we will never see the end of this path. I used to have dreams when I was younger that I was walking home and all of a sudden, my house had disappeared and I was scared and afraid that I would no longer see my family. I kept on walking and walking and it was never ending ... Well this is exactly how it feels. We are walking on this path, but don’t have a clue where we are going and don't know if it’s going to work out or if we will ever see the end. I am not sure that I can go on much longer with this uncertainty. I don’t mind the waiting part, it’s the UNKNOW that I have a hard time with.

On my way home from work today, I was thinking of my dad. I was asking him to give me another sign that things will work out tomorrow and we will hear good news. I must say that my dad must be pretty tired of my everyday request. He must not have time to relax yet xoxo. A few minutes passed and the song, Africa by Karl Wolf was playing. I know that this was my SIGN. I felt once again confident that things are going to work out.

Well let’s just say that I am pretty messed up tonight. I honestly don't know if we should be thinking of Ethiopia??? Deep down when I just think of it for a split second, I feel that I am not being faithful to my believe. We really want this adoption to work out, but we can't wait another 2 years to see if the program will work. Our caseworker is trying to lead us to Ethiopia. They are promoting it as a well establish program and very successful. Deep down I feel that there is this little girl in Ghana waiting for us and it breaks my heart to even think of somewhere else. I don’t know if it’s just my mind playing tricks on me. I believe that the adoption will happen but I just don't know any more from what Country. I am going to ask for another sign tonight that will help me make that decision to continue my believe as I truly want or to think of other options.

Hopefully I will wakeup tomorrow with a clear path and my heart will continue with GHANA xoxoxo