Here are 2 pictures of my dad and I xox...
Today, April 18, 2009, I sat down with a cup of tea after my run and red my whole blog archive. It feels so good to see how far we’ve come. Up until my dad’s funeral, I still had some fear of going to Ghana. Now, I am 100% ready. They could call me tonight and I would leave on the first flight to Ghana. I was laughing by myself earlier when I read the posting when I told my dad not to get too excited about the adoption because I was not sure that It would all workout and he looked at me like I had 3 heads and said that it would happened and we would make it happen no questions asked. LOL!
In an earlier post, I was saying how Victor and I changed our lives because of my dad. We are still seeing a Naturopath and feel good about our life change. I cook from scratch, eat healthy food and exercise more. I told Victor this morning how great I feel. I’ve never felt this healthy in my life. Even our dear friends, Monique and Louis started seeing our Naturopath. It feels good to see that my dad wanted to change his eating habits and live but unfortunately it was too late for him. Because of him, WE ( friends and family) our changing our eating habits, and are more health conscious. I’m sure he must feel so Empowered up there in heaven to see that he made an impact on all of us and we are continuing what he wanted to do…live.
I promise this will be the last posting on funeral stuff but I have to let it all out. If it wasn’t for my cousin, Margo we would of never had the opportunity to gain the knowledge in natural ways to heal your body. When Margo found out that my dad, her uncle was diagnose with cancer, she made phone calls, sent emails to try and help out my dad. For the 9 days my dad lived knowing he had cancer, Margo and her mother, my aunt Helene prepared my dad meals to try and boost his immune system. Because of them, I believed there was hope to save my dad. I thank her from the bottom of my heart for what she did. As well, I thank my whole family that were with us at the hospital and at home watching after him. That’s when you see that family is the most important thing in the world. It felt great to have there presence with us.
One thing that is keeping me strong as well is seeing how strong Nicole and Renée ( my step daughters) are. After going through the same emotions and lost of their mother, they are able to be happy again and go on with their lives. There is not one day that I don’t think of her either. I’m always thinking that she is looking after us and making sure her girls are fine. When I say that I believe that my father is watching over me, well I know for a fact that during Renée’s graduation last summer, Bernice was with us. There is no dough in my mind that she was celebrating with us. Last summer was a pretty busy time for us. Both Nicole and Renée graduated. Nicole from College in Ottawa and Renée from High School and then at the end of the same month in June, we decided to adopt. Funny how life turned a 90 degree for us. I’ve been with Victor for more than 12 years now, seen both girls grow up and we were saying how they are all grown up and now we would be able to be somewhat more free since the girls are now more independent and t hats when I panicked. I felt alone and it seemed that it was the end. What would we do now that Nicole and Renée are independent and they would no longer be relying on us. I think that’s what triggered my need to be a mommy. Before last summer, I had never really wanted to have a child. I have Nicole and Renee that I love and they are fulfilling my need to be a mother. I have enjoyed every minute of being part of their lives. I had accepted that we were going to be a family and that was it. Weird thing happened when Bernice, their mother was in the hospital before she passed away. I spend some time with her in the hospital and we had some great conversations. She made me realize how important life was and how to appreciate the time we have left to spend with the ones we love . After she passed away, we went through both graduations and my cousin Lisannes’s wedding and something happened to me. Every time I saw children, I had this weird feeling that I needed to love and comfort a child. I didn’t know what or why it was happening but it just wasn’t going away.
Nicole's Graduation in Ottawa.
Renée's Graduation in Cap-Pelé, NB
Well that’s it for now. I hope that my next posting will be our referral.
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