Seriously! Am I going back to jail???

Having spent the most beautiful summer ever with my loving daughter Kyanne, I am now sick to my stomach.

For the past few months, we’ve been having breakfast each morning outside appreciating the view of the ocean followed by a nice walk on the beach with the dogs. I seriously tried to get us doing chores or go to Moncton to run some errands, but it’s been just too nice and hot every day.  After Kyanne’s nap, we normally did some activities. We either went to the beach with Théo and Liette go to my friend’s pools or take walks in the parks. Why does it have to come to an end???

Why am I feeling this way anyways? Kyanne has adjusted extremely well in daycare. I take her twice a week and she just loves it. You would think that I should be happy about it.

Yesterday we had our last playdate with Théo and Liette as status “parental leave”. Liette is returning to work next Monday. We’ll now have to see each other on weekends. I didn’t think it would have affected me but I’ve had tears in my eyes all day today. I just don’t want to go back to work. I think the problem is that I just don’t like my work. Yes I have a good secure job... I think... but I just don’t really care for it. I don’t think I was brought on this planet to work at a desk all day.

Since Kyanne came home to us, my life has changed. Yes for the better that is!!! It was not an easy job being a mommy to a toddler for the first time. We’ve had some good and bad times, but we both grew together and learned who we truly are deep down inside. I love doing things spur of the moment, not having a schedule. I love being able to appreciate the mornings at home. That being said... I now know that in order for me to be truly happy, inside and out, I need to find a job that fits my needs. I don’t want a job 8 to 5 bull shit...

Yes I will be back to work in 2 weeks, but I will be focusing on changing what I do. Kyanne has brought so much joy in my life. I am her roll model right now. I am teaching her right from wrong. I am teaching her to be her best. I can’t teach her all that if I am not doing it myself. I want her to learn to be herself and not what others think she should be.  Taking the easy path does not mean you’re happy at the end. It just means you made a decision to settle for less.

So am I really going to change? Don’t know. All I know is that I needed to write it down and tell someone. What a better place than my blog so everyone knows how I feel right now lol!  

Off I go now to get Kyanne from daycare. We have a playdate with the girls I grew up back when I was in school. It’s going to be fun!

So are the terrible 2zzzzzzzzzzzzz not wanting to sleep?????????

Kyanne has decided she no longer wants to nap and sleep at night. Last night it was another 1 hr ½ upstairs. I had decided that I was not going to sleep with her last night. I stayed by her bed after we read her story and to my surprise; she did not like the idea. At one point I even left her room and went to take a shower to calm down. She cried and cried while I was by her bed. I think it’s going to be a rough week but I have to do it. The rest of our time together, she’s the best little girl a mother could possibly have. I guess we just have to get through this week and see how it will turn out.

Right now, It’s 1pm and I’ve been trying to get her to nap for the past half hour. Usually, nap time, I just get her all comfortable on the couch upstairs and I go in my room and sing. Today is a different story. I even put the gate so she could not come downstairs and she managed to get down. It’s a nice day and I am not wasting it on waiting for her to sleep. If she does not fall asleep in the next 15 minutes, baby girl is going to be tired tonight and she’ll be in bed early. I am not wasting my energy on waiting! Thank god we had a good morning on the beach. We did some yoga for a good half hour and played in the sand. I love our beach time with the dogs in the morning. It’s such a peaceful time for me. I am very grateful for my family!!!

Adoption Pool Party

Yesterday we attended the annually adoption pool party at Mary,  one of the mommy group’s home. This was our first time over and we absolutely had a great time. It was fun to see all the families together having a good time. Kyanne loved being in the pool, however we had to get her out because she was cold and did not realize it hahah!



Bed time routine is getting worst!

This was writing last Thursday...As I’m writing right now, I am hiding in my closet LOL! Today was a big day for Kyanne. I sent her to daycare for half a day and now I am getting daddy to put her down for bed. I love spending my time with her so much but I know it’s for her own good. All I can hear right now is “’MAMA... MAMA MAMA MAMA!!!!” I feel like running to her but she’s with her daddy. I know he can handle it... I just didn’t give him the chance to try! I can hear him reading her a story. Hopefully she will fall asleep.

Daycare was a breeze. I know Renée is there but she told me she got the other worker to change her diaper, wash her hands... and she did well. She stayed for the sieste and slept for more than an hour. Wow!!!

The last couple of days, we spent them with Liette and Théo. We had a great time at the beach. We are very fortunate that they both love the beach.

Now we are Monday, July 9^th and to finish my story, daddy was not able to make her fall asleep. I could re-phrase that and say that mommy could no longer listen to her baby crying out “mama, I want mama’! I had tears rolling down my face. I walked into her room and she gave me the biggest ever. I guess I set myself in my own trap. How do I break it off now???

Last night when I came downstairs after I had put her to bed, Victor and I talked and realized that the sleeping arrangement is not getting any better. It now takes me 1 hr ½ to make her fall asleep. I honestly don’t know if I can do it. I don’t think I have the heart to listen to her cry for me. I was not even able to go walk the dogs last night without her crying for me.

I’ll report tonight how it’s going to go! I might get the courage to try and get her to fall asleep alone. L

Warm welcome at Daycare!

Being an over protective mommy, I decided to spend a few hours a week at daycare with Kyanne so she would get used to the environment and new faces. She absolutely loves it. After a few times staying with her to play, I told her that mommy was going to work. She did not like it at first, however it did not take her long to get distracted with all the fun stuff. I walked up the car and stayed there for a few minutes and came back to see her. I heard her screaming “Mommy” with a big smile on her face. She understood that mommy had gone to work and came back to get her. All week we’ve been practicing saying mommy is going to work and then Kyanne says” After Kyanne”. She is so smart!!! It helps that Renée is working at the daycare for the summer. J

Tuesday, after her nap, Kyanne was not herself. When I picked her up to cuddle I found she was very warm. She has a fever. Mommy decided to change the past of the day and we relaxed on the patio in the shade while Kyanne slept all afternoon and evening. Poor girl was not feeling good. Like always, when she’s not feeling good, she wants mommy to stay by her side. I took out my new book and stayed on the patio couch with her all day.

2 nights after, Kyanne was feeling restless during the night. Nothing I could do would make her comfortable. I soon realized she got her initiation of daycare. She had hand, mouth and foot disease. I guess it was going around at daycare so my little girl got her fist disease. Not too impress, but what can I do??? I am scheduled to go back to work September 10^th. I decided to go earlier than expected. If I would have stayed till the end of November, it would be a huge pay cut for the rest of the year. This way, I am only taking 5 weeks extra to enjoy the summer and will start the routine with everyone else in September. That way, we’ll be able to afford more vacation. J

Oh and yes! We had a lovely time in Banff/Calgary!!! Kyanne is such a good traveler. The views of the mountains are just breath taking! Words and pictures cannot describe how beautiful it is out there. Kyanne had a fun meeting uncle Mathieu. She was comfortable with him the minute she saw him. I guess we talked about him enough that she was probably thinking “Finally! I get to meet Mathieu!!!”

Here's the link to our picutres

https://www.facebook.com/media/set/?set=a.10151796994325147.860266.895080146&type=3&l=f09e2f8027

Other than that, Kyanne is growing so fast. We are enjoying our time together. What I like the most is getting up in the morning with my cup of coffee and relaxing outside in our pajamas on the deck hearing the ocean and the birds tweet.

What a day!

Kyanne seemed to be feeling a little under the weather this morning so I decided to play it low today and stay home. What was I thinking!!! It did not take me long to realize that it was a mistake LOL! I guess Kyanne is just like me and she gets restless when we’re home and its not nice to be outdoors. My head was spining by lunch time. I started the bedtime routine a little early so I could get some peace and quiete tonight and what do you know... I sit down to relax and sam vomits all over the coutch! Poor dog was sick but I did not need that tonight. On top of all that, today felt like winter again. We went in the water twice already at the beach and today, we need a hat!

Enoug with the negativity...  I haven’t blogged in a while so I am posting some pictures from the past month.  My baby girl is growing so fast that I feel that I can't keep up. Her verbal communication is getting better and better every day. She is now able to say short sentences. She can say that she has a runny nose LOL!

Tomorrow is another day and I’ll make sure to get a good dose of vitamine D!!! Yes vitamine D... no sun, means cranky mommy.



 I think it's a wedding proposal LOL!

 Kyanne with her cousins at Parlee Beach.

 Kyanne and Théo celebrating Haitian Flag Day!

 Playing around in the parc with a special friend,

 Kyanne doing finger painting for the first time.

 @ the Beach!

 Mothers Day! xoxo

 Kyanne and daddy eating a sandwich.

 Playing in the rain.

 @ the beach with cousins.

 Just like at GLA... taking a nap in the swing.

 Cuddle time!

 More cuddle time.

 First attempt to cut Kyanne's hair... :(

 Kyanne's new bed. She is some happy girl now that she is not trapped in her crib.

 First breakfast outside. It was such a  beautiful morning.

 Kyanne showing Théo and Liette our beach for the fist time.

 Playing in her new bed.

 At the Zoo.

 Did I say I'm looking might hot in my bikini LOL!

 Bringing her doll for a stroll on the beach.

Playing in the sand with Théo.

Laptop died

I haven’t been blogging too much lately. My laptop is dead and I just ordered a new one a few days ago. I honestly don’t miss it that much. Just my blogging part that I miss. 

To give you an update on Kyanne… she’s now is a big girls bed. No more crib. We are doing so well now during the night. Since she got her new bed, she rarely wakes up during the night. She might wake up around 6 am and I just go sleep with her till 8 am. When she wakes up, she no longer cries. She just walks to our bed and says ‘maman’!!!

She absolutely adores her play set outdoor. Every night, we now say goodnight to her play set and the beach. I am happy to report that she will be a beach bum like her mommy! Today, she was running at the beach with the dogs. She was making big splashes. If I hadn’t stopped her she would of went for a swim. J

Our trip to Banff is all set. My brother finally got a cell and I was able to reach him. He took a few days off so he’ll be able meet us there.