Confidence = Success!!!

Saturday
Daddy could not wait to go wake up his little princess. He leaves for work early during the week and he doesn’t get a chance to see her till supper time. He was excited to get her from her crib. She woke up all happy! That’s my girl!!!

We ate breakfast quickly, changed and headed to the farmers market. I needed to get some free range/organic meat since my princesses in not a vegetarian like her mommy. She’s a meatatarian like her daddy LOL! I was so hopping that she would take my side for food, but it’s not looking good. Since she will be eating meat, I am making sure she gets good quality. I will still not give her too much red meat, but will give her some a few times a week since she likes it.

We did both markets and she was good. She however wanted to be in daddy’s arms. I guess I would be more comfortable in his big arms!!!

My lovely husband has a sweet tooth. I rarely bring him to the market because we spend way more money when he comes. He goes bananas when he passed by a bakery. He said the muffins at the Cake Box were just starting at him and he needed to buy them. He bought 6 and left happy as a clam.  When we got to the Moncton Market, I had wrapped everything I had bought in the back and put the stroller on top so the dogs would not eat our stuff. When we got back in the truck, my sweet, lovely George was full of chocolate. I checked in the front seat and we had forgotten the box of muffins on the floor of the passenger side. The muffins were all gone. My beige leather seat was all brown. We were parked right at the door. I can just imagine people watching her eat those muffins. Thank god there was another Cake Box at the Moncton Market. He got me to go back in and get him more muffins. I must love those dogs so much that I did not even say a word...

Saturday afternoon, Kyanne napped for a good 2 hours. Daddy had put her to bed right after we got back. It was nice to be able to relax and get the house clean. Once she got up, we had a pretty quiet evening just the 3 of us. Our best friends usually come to our place on weekends; however they had their Christmas parties on Friday and Saturday. We haven’t spent time with them since we got back from Haiti. The weekend we arrived, Monique was in NY on a bus tour. I was supposed to have been there but I had another priority. Next Friday we are going out with them for the evening and another couple we are going to have dinner and after we are going to a Christmas concert. I am really looking forward to go out with our friends to get some adult time, but at the same time, we have reservations for 5:30 and we’ll need to leave Kyanne home. I hope mommy will be able to make it... Nicole and Renée are going to stay home with her. I know she will be fine but I’m not sure if I’ll be...

To be honest, last week was a very difficult for me. It was a lot of adjustment, getting to know one another. I don’t know what baby blues are really. Haven’t goggled it but I felt lost and alone. Trying to comfort your daughter and you don’t know how... it’s really hard. I know it got better by the end of the week, but it’s still mentally challenging. I was so grateful that my husband arrived early on Friday. Taking that nap in the pm did all the difference. I had spent the week all alone with her during the day, not able to get her in her crib. That meant NO time for ME at all and on top of that, I had all the meals done, cleaned up after the meals, laundry, house chores, take care of dogs and cat and entertain Kyanne. 3 Weeks ago, I was sitting at a desk all day staring at a computer screen all day. This is a 360 for me. Would I change it...? Not a chance in the world. I might cry more, be confused, however we are getting to know each other and its fun. It would have been perfect from day 1; it would have been a pretty boring year. hahaha

Sunday
Daddy woke up Kyanne again this morning. He went downstairs with her so I could sleep some more, but I just had to go down to see her. I miss her so much during the night. I would love to have her by my side and cuddle... I am praying that it will come with time. I just have to be patient and wait till she’s ready. I made waffles this morning. She did not enjoy them like her oatmeal, but she ate it. This morning, we just relaxed and played in the living room. All morning, she was bringing books to me, so we could look at them. I can’t explain the feeling. It’s a rush through my body, full of love. It’s just great.

We did a quick trip to Shediac, town, closes to us, 15 minutes away to get her organic milk. I wish we could have organic products in Cap-Pelé. She slept all the way there. When we got back, Victor put her in her crib and she slept till grand-ma arrived and the dogs barked and woke her up. My mom loves her so much. You can tell when she picks her up in her arms. All evening, we had company. Victor’s 3 sisters, Anabelle; my god child, her mother and our friends Monique and Louis came by. The house was full. Kyanne stayed in my arms at first. I don’t mind one bit that she’s like that. It’s funny to see when the door shuts and company is gone. It’s like a switch and she is back to herself. All giggly and fun!

This evening, Kyanne was dancing and singing some Opera music. She had a concert with Andrea Buccelli. He was signing on TV with Céline Dion. She just loves music. She had Nicole’s iphone at her ear listening to Hallelujah .
I was sitting on the couch watching her walk all over the living room pushing her little stroller trying to be funny. She was laughing so hard. I was trying to think how she feels being home with us. She looks so happy. Is she missing GLA? Is she missing all the other children, the nannies??? I don’t think so. She has not shown any signs of being sad or lonely.

After bath time, I let her play some more. After awhile, I put her in my arms and she wrapped her arms around me and cuddled. I brought her upstairs to get her to fall asleep in my arms. I wanted to pretend to put her in her crib right away to see her reaction and to my surprise, she wanted to stay. She got all comfy and took my hand so I can hold her. I sat on the little stool by her bed and held her hand while she was sucking her thumb. She was looking at me with her beautiful eyes. I was telling her how much I love and that mommy will never leave her. I will always protect her. Who am I kidding! She is not missing her life at GLA, she has a family now that loves her and can give her 100% of our time. We are committed to this little girl and we are going to give her all the love and attention she needs.

Like Denise told me the other day, I now have confidence and that’s why Kyanne is responding better with me. She’s probably feeling my energy and now knows that I am staring to know what I am doing hahah! At least I think I know.

I think I made good progress this weekend. I don’t feel overwhelm and tired. I feel confident and ready to face next week. I feel that I passed my first evaluation of being a mother.



Eating orange for first time. 

Trying to figure out if she wants to try dog food LOL!

Testing water for Sam and Geroge.

Making sure dog food is spread out evenly in the bowl.

Helping daddy 

Kyanne loves talking on the phone. She looks so serious.

Climbing the stairs all by herself.