Happy post

The last month was pretty hectic. As I had mentioned, my dossier was completed at 98%. The Friday that I could of sent my dossier off in the mail, I panicked and just could not do it. I had a weird feeling that I had to wait. I decided to hold off for the weekend. This was the weekend of Oct 23rd. That weekend, a lot of thinking went on. By the Monday, we had decided to switch Orphanage and go with our first pick (my first pick). How ironic is that... When he started 16 months ago, we went with our second choice, Ghana. Haiti was our first choice. So I guess next time I make a decision and go with my second choice, I will be more firm and not give up and do my possible that the outcome is my first choice. I will not settle for less.

So almost 1 month passed since we switch with GLA. I have completed all the necessary changes for our dossier. That meant, another trip to the doctor, blood work and lawyers office. Victor has been a real trooper this year. For a guy that refused to get blood test done because he was afraid of a needle, he went 3 times just this year for the adoption. I guess he’s going to have stories to tell that little one when she comes home to us. This pass Tuesday, Nov 17, 2009, I got our last paperwork notarized, came home and had more copies done. Now the biggest challenge for me was to get everything in order to mail it out. This is just not my cup of tea. I hate paperwork, but I had to it. I spent the entire evening with the kitchen being a mess, trying to have everything in order to mail out in the morning. I only went to bed at 2:45am. I was exhausted.



Next morning, I headed to FedEx with my box of paper. When I got in the door at FedEx, I explained to the lady that I have a box full of documents that needs to go to Haiti but has to make 5 stops before it get to Haiti. She looked at me in a funny way and I explained to her that I’ve never done this before and I needed help. I stayed there for 1 hr.1/2 and got back to the car with an empty box. MAN... did that ever felt good.
I felt so free. I was so attached to does documents, it wasn’t even funny. I told one of my friends the other day that if someone tried to take my bag/wallet on the street, I would not fight them, I would just let them go. If someone had tried to take my documents out of my hand on the street... I would be sorry for that person at the end because they would of not got away with it. LOL!
So all this to say that my dossier should be with Elaine today in Fredericton. JR from Gentle Path confirmed with me yesterday that they received our package from FedEx and it’s at the next step.




Well folks today is a happy blog post!!!

My Adoption Dossier’s Journey
Future parents - Gentle Path Counselling Services
Gentle Path Counselling Services – Department of Social Development (Fredericton)
Department of Social Development (Fredericton) – Foreign Affairs (Ottawa)
Foreign Affairs (Ottawa) – Haitian Embassy (Ottawa)
Haitian Embassy (Ottawa) – Back to Department of Social Development (Fredericton)
Department of Social Development (Fredericton) – GLA Orphanage

While I am writing this email, I got confirmation that Fredericton received our package. All is good.

This tracking update has been requested by:
Name: Sylvie Cormier
E-mail: sylvie.cormier@acoa-apeca.gc.ca
_______________________________________________________________________________
Our records indicate that the following shipment has been delivered:
Ship (P/U) date: Nov 19, 2009
Delivery date: Nov 20, 2009 1:26 PM
Sign for by: C.KOCHANSKI
Delivered to: Receptionist/Front Desk
Service type: FedEx Priority Overnight
Packaging type: FedEx Box
Number of pieces: 1
Weight: 10.00 lb.
Special handling/Services: Deliver Weekday

Oh My God… When there a will, there a way to get her done!

Today, October 21, 2009 started as a typical day. Still supper busy at work and getting things ready to go do a demo in Fredericton tomorrow. On top of trying to get everything organized, I had to remember to get Victor to go sign the last papers at the lawyer and call Dept. Of Social Welfare in Fredericton to make sure I was sending the correct envelops for our dossier. She replied right back to my email with the details that I wanted. On top of that she made a side note to make sure all our translated documents were all signed. I was flipping!!! I honestly thought it was the end. At that moment, I felt that I just couldn’t go on. This was actually the last email I read before my drive picked me up from work. All I was thinking at this point is that the 5 copies my sister in law did for me today would be a complete waste. I just wanted to stop and cry. After a few minutes, I got back to reality and remembered that I was not giving up. I made an action plan and realized that I would only need to get my translator to sign 3 documents because they were the only docs that needed to be translated. It’s funny how at first I had made a mountain out of this pill of papers LOL!

Once I got home, Nadine arrived with my complete dossier. This is surly not going to fit in an envelope. I will add a picture soon of the stack of papers. It’s going to cost me a fortune to send that to Haiti. It might be cheaper for me to buy a plan ticket and bring it there myself. I wish I could do that but I was told NO!
Today I was emailing my friend Melissa back and forth about the adoption and she advised me to call the orphanage to see what was going on. At first I was kind of hesitating but decided to call. I called a few times around supper time but got disconnected and could not hear a thing. It’s really frustrating trying to call Haiti. Around 8pm, I decided to try again. After a few minutes I got through. I had not talked to Chris for a few months and she remembered who I was. It felt good. She said there were 2 potential girls for us. One that is already 2 years old and the other is only 7 months old. The 2 year old one would be easier because the 7 month old one is in progress with another adoptive family. If they decide to continue looking, we would be the next available family. I am trying to not get too excited at the moment until I can get more concrete information. I will defiantly update as soon as I have something. I told Chris that we would not go to the November family visit since we are not matched with a child at the moment. She said that we should see each other in February!!! I so hope and pray for this to happen.


Good night all!


Oh and if you are reading Angele, I am suppose to travel to Hali next week. Either on Wed or Thurs night. I will let you know once my travel is approved. If you feel up for it, we could meet after work.

Burst of energy today!

Today, October 20th 2009 was a really productive day. I felt a high of energy all day long. To start off, my day at work was awesome. I accomplished a lot. When I get days like that, I usually head to the mall and go buy something new. Indeed I did. I go tops at RW&CO and a dress at Dynamite and a few accessories to go with them. I was able to build an application in 3 days that would have taken me forever last year to do. It can’t believe how much my knowledge has grown doing what I am doing now at work. I started off by just playing around and figuring out new technology and now I am able to build apps. It’s so cool! After work I went to get our adoption paperwork at our lawyers. Victor did not come with me so there is one document left at his office that Victor has to go and sign in front of him. The Power of Attorney forms. I was able to bring the rest home. My sister in-law is going to make the photocopies for us tomorrow so I should have everything ready to be sent out to Fredericton by Thursday. I think I am getting back into the groove of things.

I think my caffeine high could be the effect of me wanting to continue to write on my blog tonight. I went for a coffee with a friend of mine that is also adoption. She is in the middle of her home study right now. I am really looking forward for her dossier to be ready to leave for Haiti as well. It will be a big celebration when both our files leave NB…
On the family side of things, it’s just great. Now that summer done, everyone’s schedule is a lot less busy and we spend a lot of time at home. I really enjoy having the girl’s home and spending quality time together. I’ve even been trying to make family meals for supper so we can all sit together after work. I kind of need some work on that one because I am not your traditional cooking wife. Everything I eat is organic and vegetarian. I’ve been trying to make a few meals a week that the rest of the family will eat.

That’s it for tonight folks! Have a good one.

My monthly update

Another month has flown by and there was still no advancement in our adoption stuff. To make a long month short, I brought our paper work to our lawyer at the beginning last week of September to have everything notarized and I will be picking them up tomorrow. Assistant on vacation for 2 weeks, wait a week to call and then papers are ready but lawyer is on vacation. I’m telling ya, our whole adoption journey is running around everyone’s vacation schedule. I know everyone deserves vacation time but not when it’s affecting my life LOL! Just kidding. So tomorrow I will have our completed dossier in my hands. Still not the end because I still have to make 5 copies of everything. After that, I will be sending everything to our Fredericton office, the off to Ottawa to get a signature, back to Fredericton and then should officially be sent to HAITI!!!!

Really an odd feeling but I remember that feeling when we got the email that our dossier was leaving for Ghana. It was quite the excitement. Hopefully this time it will be more than just an email. We have to believe that everything happened for a reason and our little girl will eventually find her way in our home.
At the same time as my dossier is getting ready to leave for Haiti in a few weeks, I got an email today for Imagine- Ghana update. Ted (lawyer hired for Imagine Case) has completed his report on the Ghana program. He has passed along his report to the board members. Even if I am not going with Ghana anymore, I am still concerned for the families that are still fighting to bring their children home. I am praying real hard for things to work out.

Other things happening in my life other that our adoption news

Tomorrow, Friday Sept 18th, 2009, we are having a guy name David Ng catering for us. A 5 course meal at my sister in laws place. We are 10 couples. I think we are going to have a good time. This guy does not only cook but he entertains at the same time. Victor and I had an evening with him this summer at a wedding and we had a blast. I’ve been looking forward for this eveing in a long time.

Next weekend, Victor and I are flying to Montreal for the weekend to see a couple that we met 5 years ago when we were in Miami before our Cruise. We stayed in touch ever since however we never seen each other again. They are having a party the Sat, Sept 25th and we are going to celebrate both their Birthdays with them. I cant wait to see them. I think It will be fun to get out of the routine. After I get back from our weekend get away, I will be leaving Oct 5th for Ottawa for work. I don’t know why but I asume that I am trying to make plans ahead of time so that I have things to look forward to and not think about the adoption so much. I’ve always been a planner so as long as I can have something to plan, search on google, I am good to go. One other thing that I am in the works of planing is a get away week down south before Christams with my dear husband. I’ve been trying to plan to go to Haiti to do volunary work but it doesn seem to be working out as fast as I want it to go. I will wait till I can speak to Chris when she’s in the States during Christmas and see if I can arrange something then. So plan, plan, plan… its keeping me busy.

I’m sitting in our bedroom writing my blog at 10:30pm because I had an extra coffee at work today and that’s what happens. I just cant sleep. I am watching old episodes of Friends. I don’t think I will ever stop watching them. I can still remember my week in the hospital with my dad. That’s all we watched. We knew what was going to happen but we still managed to laugh. We were both sitting in chairs and complaining that the TV was too high and our necks hurted becaue we were uncomfotable.

Before I started witing my blog tonight, I called my mom and her friend from Halifax answerd. She came down to visit my mom. She told me they were having a good time. She said they stayed up till 3 am last night to talk about their younger days and listening to old music. When my mom took the phone, she was laughing and I could tell she was having fun. I haven’t honeslty seen her so full of good energy in such a long time. It made me feel so good knowing she was having a good time. I think her friend’s visit is going to do her good.

Good night all!

A few updates on our adoption

A few updates on our adoption process this week. I met with Cindy to review our home study update and everything was ok. I mailed it express to Gentle Path in S.J. for Judy to sign it off. Doing what I said I would start doing… trying to get my mind off the adoption and to my surprise, I answerd the phone yesterday at work and it was Judy. She said our homestudy had been approved and she was sending the package back to us including our medicals, criminal checks to have notarize by our lawyer. I asked her once we have everything signed by our laywer what we had to do. She said we have to get the whole package weight at the post office and have the courrier envelop ready for Haiti. We will be sending the package to Elaine in Frederiction and she is responsible to send it to Haiti. I asked her at what point our dossier was being approved in Ottawa and she said it was not going to Ottawa. Hummmm…. When we got our dossier ready for Ghana, Imagine had to get it approved in Ottawa before sending it to the Country. Anyways, I will try to find out what is going on.
In the mean time, my friend Melanie is translating our original homestudy and the updated version. We need to have everything in french before we have our lawyer notarize our documents. If I can get the translation ready for the end of next week, Sept 25th, I will be able to send our files to our lawyer the following week, Sept 28th and send the package to Elaine by Friday Oct 2nd. I hope this can all workout because I will be in Ottawa the week of Oct 5-9th. If Icant have it all done, well it will have to wait till I am back. It probably wont make a difference. I would just like to have the whole thing sent to Haiti and be able to relax.
Well I guess you will hear all about it in a few weeks to see if I was able to stick to my schedule… Stay Tuned!!!

Oh and almost forgot, we actually changed the age on our homestudy update to less than 3 years at time of match instead of 18 month. I Think I just don’t want to get in a situation that they cannot find a healty baby girl and we would have to get Cindy to come back to make a change on our homestudy. They orphanage knows that we want a baby girl young as possible so I am leaving it up to faith to bring us the child that is meant for our family. I know that she will be so special and I just cant wait to hold her in my arms.

Weird thoughts have been going through my head in the pass few weeks. When we were waiting for our referral from Ghana, I felt 100% ready to be a mommy. With everything that has happen this summer with Imagine and the switch and starting over the paper work, I am feeling sorth of nervous. I don’t know if its becaue I know that Haiti is really going to happen and I could potentially get the call or email anytime. That said, it will be the moment that I have been waiting for. At that moment, I will become a MOMMY! Now how excitting is that going to be. I think I’ve been feeling that way becaue I am following my friend Angele’s blog. She’s pregnant and is expecting around Christmas time. Everytime I read her updates, I feel such joy, knowing she is enjoying every moment of her pregnancy. She is making it sound so real for me  Can’t wait to meet that precisou little guy!!!

Summer is all over

Well it’s been awhile since I’ve blogged. I think I’m at the point that I am trying to forget all that is going on and hoping that a surprise will eventually come. Lots have happen since I blogged that I can actually update you on.
Cindy came back for our homesetudy update. I was sick as a dog. I had not gone to work for a few days. It’s funny how I was not stressed at all for the visit this time. Trust me; I did not clean the light bulbs this time. I actually didn’t even vacuum hahaha. Apart from that I have gathered up all the documents we need for Haiti.

I attempted to call the orphanage a few times and was successful at the end but it’s still really frustrating to call Haiti. You can hardly hear. Static, it cuts the line and you miss half of the sentence. Chris basically told me (what I think I heard) is that we are next on the list for a baby girl. She said a young pregnant lady came by and said she wanted to give away her baby. Chris said they will be doing an ultra sound and if it’s a girl, it could potentially be our match. I am not getting too excited but at least it’s a possibility. I wish I could just fly there and see what is going on but they just don’t email me back with the info that I am asking about doing voluntary work. If I don’t she hear back from them before Christmas, I will call them when they are in Ohio from Christmas Holidays and try and schedule something.

I tried real hard to forget about everything this summer but I just could. It was eating me alive. I am trying to stay motivated at work but I’m not succeeding. I however started aerobics again tonight and feel so much better. I think this will keep me going and get me back on track and be motivated and alive.
I am looking forward to my lunch date with 2 adoptive moms tomorrow. We’ll be chatting about our Journey to Haiti. I pray that we can all succeed in our dream to adopt our beautiful children from Haiti.

Oh and last news… Imagine Adoption! They are still sending us emails. We are voting on the reconstruction of Imagine. If families want to continue with them, they can pay an additional $4,000 and they will continue the process in February I think they said. Since we pulled out of file from Ghana, we can still vote for the reconstruction of the agency because we are creditors. I personally have all that behind me now. I am just hurting for the families that are still fighting to bring the children home.

Well summer is all done now. I am kinda glade because I will get back to my routine. I think this summer was pretty wacko and I need to relax.

Good, good and good!!!

# 1 GOOD NEWS - Well, we passed our psych. wvaluation with flying colors. Like I had probably stated in one of my first post when we had our original homestudy done. Victor and I always have something to say. When the psychologist was looking at his watch we sort of took the hint that we had said enough. He told us that we seemed to be a very happy couple and were very much ready for this challenge. He said we looked matured and had done our homework. He said he would have our report ready by the end of next week.

#2 GOOD NEWS – When I got home from our psych evaluation, I had an email from Jo Ann saying that they have requested our dossier back from Ghana and she will advise me as soon as they receive it. Thank god! At least our personal information will be back with us.

# 3 GOOD NEWS – This just happened as I was writing the #1 GOOD NEWS. Nicole came back from Saint John with her friend and said I have a gift for you. She said well, actually its yours for now but you will have to give it to someone else soon. I looked at her funny but opened the box quickly. It’s an Angel that says’ Sisters are forever friends’. I almost cried. I gave her a big hug and thanked her. Nicole is so caring and loving. I know that sometimes I think it’s only me waiting for my baby girl to come home but It seems that we are all waiting. That girl is going to have so much love. Xoxo

Night night everyone.

Beautifull day and new week starting

We just finished a beautiful weekend with family and friends to celebrate Aug 15th. Acadian Day! It was wonderful. I hope this week will bring progress to our Haiti adoption. I got an email from Judy on Friday to let me know that all the paperwork had been signed. So all we are waiting for is SW’s call to meet with us for our homestudy update. She should call this week. Other than that, Victor and I are meeting with a psychologist this evening for an evaluation. I hope it goes well. I wanted to call Chris at the orphanage this weekend but realized that this week was family week at the orphanage. I will wait till next week when the families are back home.

I will write again soon to let you know how it went with our psych. Evaluation.

Enjoy the sun!

Confused and don't know where I'm heading

I thought I was in a crossroad a month ago… now I don’t even know where I’m headed. I feel that I am blindfolded and there are more paths that we could potentially take and fall off a cliff! I am scared and don’t know what to think anymore. For a month now, we have been pretty set on Haiti however I haven’t receive any update from Chris at the orphanage. I tried calling there but no answer. I think I will try again tonight.

In the meantime, we received an email saying that there is a lawyer working on our behalf of Ghana adoptive families. He is contacting CIC in Ghana and will try to get concrete answers for us and meeting with the Immigration Minister. This was all last week ( Aug 7th 2009). So now it’s back to being in limbo. Have I just turned to Haiti because I would of not been able to deal with the pain of saying our adoption is over??? Or is it really over with Ghana and I should be concentrating on Haiti? Last week, I contacted JR at Gentle Path and advised him that we didn’t get our meeting for homestudy update yet. He advised me that a paper needed to be signed before we can start our homesudy update and who would of guessed that everyone that can sign the dam paper is on vacation!!! What a surprise! Is all that stall happening so we have a chance to see what will happen to the Ghana program or am I just loosing it…
I am afraid to make a move right now in case I would make the wrong decision. I went for a walk on the beach the other day with the dogs and was praying and talking to my dad. I asked him to give me a sign tonight in my dream that IT WILL HAPPEN and to give me an indication on where to go…When I went to bed, I was not thinking of my little talk with the angels and at 5am, I woke up and I was smiling. I remember being really happy and it sure wasn’t because my 2 dogs had their paws all over me LOL! I was remembering my dream. My dad and I were in our living room at my parents house and we were back 15 years ago about. It was the time I was babysitting a little girl from down home and she used to come over my place. We were all in the living room playing with her, laughing. I just think that he is telling me that I will get my little girl and we will all be happy when it happens. He still didn’t tell me which way to go or what to do. I think this is something that I will have to figure out myself. I think he is trying to make me stronger and help me make my dream come true.

Full week without any NEWS…

Well I have absolutely no news to report. Did not get a call last week from either SW to schedule our home study update or Chris, from the orphanage in Haiti. I know I am not a patient girl but I would LOVE to hear a sound 

Chris and Hal, got back to the orphanage after they came home for a visit in the US on Thursday, July 30th. She sent wonderful news files moving along but I haven’t got a reply back from the emails I have sent her. I know they must be so busy but I pray that I do hear from her SOOOON!!!!

Last weekend for a long weekend. NB Day. For the first time ever, I went camping for more than 1 night. We left Friday after work in the Rain, with the car loaded and got back Monday. I had the best time ever. I never would of thought that I could have fun camping. We even brought Sam and George with us. They had a blast swimming in the lake with Dozer. I told Victor that this would be our test to see if I am able to survive the weekend before Kyanna comes along. I think we’ll be able to manage when she arrives.Victor even borrowed his truck to his daughter Renée because they were going camping as well and they needed the truck to fit all their stuff. Do you think dad could say no to his daughter??? I think not so guess who had the small red car to go camping for 3 days and 2 dogs… US, but we had a blast.



It was a team effort trying to put the tarp on top of our tent because it was raining the first day we arrived.



My first time swimming in a lake. Sam and George found it really cool that they could actually drink the water.



My baby girls were tired after a long day at the lake.




I guess this is all part of the camping adventure… I will bring rubber boots next time LOL!


Felt my dad’s presence that morning when I saw the train. I miss him dearly xoxo.

Angele... I am very happy that you are writing a new blog. I can’t wait to follow your stories.

How sick can you be...

It seems that the frustration and anger is all coming back after reading the article on Imagine. I cannot believe that there are such people on this earth. I’m sure their fun is all over now. I am very sad for the children in all this and the families that are trying desperately to bring home the children. I sure hope that justice will be made and that they will get WHAT THEY DESERVE!!!

http://news.therecord.com/article/576431

Weekend full of fun

Friday, July 24th, Victor and I were on our way to Saint John for adoption workshop being held by Gentle Path Counseling Services. It was fun to meet other adoptive families. We had a fun weekend. We stayed at the Delta which was nice. It was kind of nice to have the bed to ourselves and not share with 2 boxers. As soon as we walked in the conference room, JR, admin assistant to Gentle Path told me that he got our file ready to be sent out to our SW to do our homestudy update. I was so happy to hear that.

This is us in Saint John.






Friday before we left for Saint John, I watch a video clip that is posted on our orphanage’s website in Haiti. I was in tears. I just wanted to be there and help with all those children. On our way to Saint John, it stayed in the back of my mind. I just need to get to Haiti before Christmas.

After thinking about it for a few days, I made up my mind and I am making a commitment of going there before Christmas. I’ve already send out emails to my family and friends that I am going to the orphanage for a week to do some volunteer work. I have asked for donations that the orphanage can use. I still don’t know who else is coming with me but I am DETERMIND to go. I know that I cannot get fully prepared for the emotional part of this trip but it’s something that I will have to deal with once there. I’ve become a stronger person this year and I think it was to prepare me with this life experience. I feel that by doing this now before we receive our child’s referral, I will be able to enjoy our trips on family weeks once we do have our daughter.

Haiti is a go for us

Things are on the move for me again for me. At least this time I am not running in circles. I know what I am doing and things are moving fast to start our Dossier for Haiti.

Already done:
Orphanage approved our application – July 16, 2009
Criminal Checks – Got them done on Friday July 17, 2009
Medicals - Got them done today July 20, 2009
Finished filling out forms for Gentle Path Counseling Services – July 20, 2009

So basically I am sending the forms to Gentle Path tomorrow and should be able to receive a call from SW to do our homestudy update next week if all goes well or the week after. I got a call from Director of Gentle Path today to let me know that we have to take a mandatory course on adoption before our homestudy can get updated. There is a course this weekend in Saint John so last minute, we are going. I remember last year around this time when I was gathering up our dossier, I was going out of my mind. I was really stressed and could not get appointments soon enough. This time around, everything is running smoothly. I sure hope this whole process can continue to run like this. I accomplished a lot today and surprisingly it’s my Dads Birthday today. I think he was with me today helping me out. His birthday and he is still doing everything for me 

At the same time, I am reading on all the Yahoo and Facebook groups on Imagine Adoption bankruptcy. There are lots of people working hard to get their voice heard. I feel bad that I am no longer fighting but we had made our decision to go with Haiti. I know we’ve made the right decision for us. I don’t think I could of handled the news if we had not talked about switching. I will do what is needed to support my Ghana group. I was part of the journey and still feel connected to all of them. My heart goes out to all of the families that have been affected.

I am thinking of my dad today on his birthday. I hope he is watching over us and will help us take the right turnes when we get to another crossroad. Love you and miss you lots DAD xoxo.

Our Agency went Bankrupt!

Well there it is. Our agency went bankrupt. What a story.

http://www.theglobeandmail.com/news/national/adoption-agencys-bankruptcy-devastates-families/article1217223/

After all we’ve been through this year, I would of not imagined anything like this happening. All of this came out Monday July 13, 2009. Funny it was that last week, we started talking about other options. I had even contacted my caseworker at Imagine and she had told me we could pull out at any time and get 50% of the agency fee and all of the other cheque that was suppose to go to the orphanage when we would accept our proposal. Monday I emailed her to asked how long it would take to have our Dossier back and then I was going to send our official email saying we were pulling out of the program. My caseworker usually reads my email pretty quickly she sometimes don’t answer right away but she would always acknowledge that she had read it. After I got back from the gym on my lunch hour, I checked my emails and had not seen a response from my caseworker yet. I found it weird but then started reading my friends email telling me not to panic but she had heard rumors that Imagine had gone bankrupt. I picked up the phone and called her right way. Not knowing what to say, I told her I would call Imagine and just asked her how long it would take for our dossier to get back to Canada. First time in a year that I call the agency and I get voice mail. I knew right there that it was not a rumor. It was true.

Now that I had a few days to vent, I know now why we had a change of hearts and why I was at the crossroad on Sunday night. I knew something was going to happen deep down and needed to be ready for the change. I was not attached to Ghana because I had not a picture yet. I am heartbroken for the families that were further ahead in the process that us. There are 100’s of families that are going to be fighting to bring home their children. I am praying for all of them. I don’t want anything to happen to does children. This is not the children’s fault. They don’t deserve this.

We lost faith in the agency, however we didn’t lose faith in our dream. I guess Ghana was not where we needed to be. We were maybe there for a dry run and now the real challenge is beginning. I have made some contacts and am ready to start this all over again. A year has passed and I am fully committed to start process #2 with Haiti. This time I am not using an agency. I am doing this on my own with the help of some friends.

Crossroad ahead… witch way to go?

After all this waiting to hear some news whether or not the Ghana program is staying open, I honestly don’t have any more energy to waist on refreshing my email to get the news. I feel that I have absolutely no power, nothing to say. We hired an agency to do the work for us and its starting to get on my nerves. When I want something, I want it NOW and don’t want to wait for someone to do it for me. I know I was all positive during this difficult time, but it’s got to end sometime. I am sick and tired of getting no answer. They can’t even tell us what the meetings are all about. I am not saying that I’m losing faith in this journey, I just think that we’ve reached a crossroad and we have to choose which way to go. I still believe 100% that Kyanna is coming home, but maybe Ghana was not meant to be. I think that she was not ready to come home and we needed this year to get organized and give me more time to sleep in 

I’ve been talking with a few couples from around home and they have adopted from Haiti. This program is fast to receive your referral but can take up to 2 years to be able to travel to bring your child home. It’s not longer that Ethiopia. The only thing is that we would not go through an agency this time. We would need to gather up our dossier and send it ourselves. Being in charge will make me feel more at ease and will be in direct contact with orphanage and SW. Did is not 100% yet but we are getting more information to make our decision. Tomorrow, I will be meeting with a lady that is waiting to go get her 2 siblings in Haiti. She is going to explain to me the process and will hopefully be able to make a decision after. I also met a guy that I work with that is leaving in a few weeks to go get his daughter in Haiti. He is just waiting for the Visa.

Like I said, I am not losing faith, I just think that faith is telling us to change directions and I am following what my heart is telling me.

Today...

Today is July 8th, 2009. While I was not able to sleep good last night, I woke up and was relaxed. I asked my dad before leaving the house to help me get through today. Hopefully we will get an email with some GOOD News. When I started the car, there it was, Africa by Karl Wolf on the radio. This is my dad's sign once again. He is letting me know that he is there and helping out as much as I can. That's all I needed to put a big happy smile on my face.

Will hopefully post somthing else later on tonight!

Here are a few pictures of our summer so far.

Sleepless nights

Today, July 7, 2009 was supposed to be the day…again, that we find out if the Ghana program was remaining open or closing. I cannot count how many times I refreshed my email ever hour today. After 4 pm I realized that we would not get an update. I know I should be feeling really anxious but I am not. I still hold that feeling inside that it will all workout. I am visualizing and thinking about the moment when I will receive the email from Imagine. I am seeing joy, tears of happiness. I have accepted that this will most likely take a long time before we get Kyanna home, but it will happen.

Another strange thing happened to me Monday June 6, 2009. As I was telling you in previous blogs, I have always been faithful of the Ghana program. Since the last few updates we received from our agency, I started to get hesitant and was sort of seeking for other programs. My subconscious was telling me to look elsewhere but I was putting the stop to it. I finally decided to go ahead and look. Gathering information cannot harm anyone. It just prepares you for the future if ever needed.

Anyways, this is what I found:
Haiti: One of the couple has to be more than 35, and be married for 10 years at a minimum.
St. Vincent: Waiting list until progress is made
Ethiopia: maybe a waiting list now and a long wait for sure (approximately 2 years)
China: 4-5 years minimum

After thinking about all the other options, I started to panic somewhat for the wait time for our home study update, if we have to switch program. I called my DSW in Moncton and had forgotten that they don’t deal with the home studies anymore; it was a 3rd party company. She gave me the name and number to contact if we do decide to switch. At this point I didn’t want to make the call just yet because I am still holding on to Ghana. All of this seeking was just for my peace of mind and knowing that there could be other options, however it’s not looking that good. I was just about to email the SW that did our homestudy and then decided to hold off. I was not ready to make that move yet. So off I went to the gym thinking about my SW and COINCIDENTLY I ran into her in the locker room at the gym. We talked for a bit and she assured me that if we need to do a homestudy update, it would not take long at all. She said she could be at our home probably the next day and not much would have to be done. We talked about the Ghana program for a bit and I felt relieved. Even if I was asking her questions in regards to the closing of the program, I felt that Ghana can still work. I will continue to believe and am asking god to help.
Once again, I am writing this down because I am 100% confident that this program will be successful and all this research just proved to me that there are no other options for us. We have to stick to what we believe in and go all the way. I am going to bed right now and will be visualizing great moments to come.

Good night!

1 year millstone…

It will be 1 year next week that we’ve started our adoption journey. I feel we’ve been going backwards all winter. Hopefully this summer will bring in new and happy thoughts. We received 2 emails from our agency since last week with no new information. The cutoff date was suppose to be last Friday, June 19th and nothing has happened yet. I feel that as my dad had promised me, this adoption is going to happen. I know that he is making everything in his power to stop them from making a decision too fast. With time, I know it will happen. We just have to keep fighting for what we believe in and continue to pray.

Renee and I went shopping this week, we were at Home Sense and she found a decoration for Kyanna’s room. It’s the letter K with the colors of her room. It’s really pretty. My mom called me last night all excited that she has bought another doll for Kyanna. I think this little girl is already spoiled. One thing for sure she is in our hearts and we are not giving up on her. She will be in my arms sooner or later.

One thing I have learned is to enjoy the moment and be part of the ‘NOW’. I am no longer thinking and wishing that this journey be over. I am concentrating on what is happening today and going through the emotions.

My Horoscope

I read that in the plane last night coming home from Ottawa. You won't go wrong this week trusting your instincts - especially in matters of the heart. Whether in business or pleasure, success will come your way.

I called my caseworker today and expressed how we still wanted to go on with Ghana. There is nothing more that I want right now but somehow I just don't feel any good vibes. I am not getting discourage, but I just feel empty. I feel that we will never see the end of this path. I used to have dreams when I was younger that I was walking home and all of a sudden, my house had disappeared and I was scared and afraid that I would no longer see my family. I kept on walking and walking and it was never ending ... Well this is exactly how it feels. We are walking on this path, but don’t have a clue where we are going and don't know if it’s going to work out or if we will ever see the end. I am not sure that I can go on much longer with this uncertainty. I don’t mind the waiting part, it’s the UNKNOW that I have a hard time with.

On my way home from work today, I was thinking of my dad. I was asking him to give me another sign that things will work out tomorrow and we will hear good news. I must say that my dad must be pretty tired of my everyday request. He must not have time to relax yet xoxo. A few minutes passed and the song, Africa by Karl Wolf was playing. I know that this was my SIGN. I felt once again confident that things are going to work out.

Well let’s just say that I am pretty messed up tonight. I honestly don't know if we should be thinking of Ethiopia??? Deep down when I just think of it for a split second, I feel that I am not being faithful to my believe. We really want this adoption to work out, but we can't wait another 2 years to see if the program will work. Our caseworker is trying to lead us to Ethiopia. They are promoting it as a well establish program and very successful. Deep down I feel that there is this little girl in Ghana waiting for us and it breaks my heart to even think of somewhere else. I don’t know if it’s just my mind playing tricks on me. I believe that the adoption will happen but I just don't know any more from what Country. I am going to ask for another sign tonight that will help me make that decision to continue my believe as I truly want or to think of other options.

Hopefully I will wakeup tomorrow with a clear path and my heart will continue with GHANA xoxoxo

Coincidence or Not?

Another one bites the dust… For some odd reason, I received an email this pm from Imagine. Same routine, I have to be alone to read it and this time, I was not at my desk or at home. I am in Ottawa for a course at the Canadian School of Public Service actually in Gatineau. The teacher just asked us to read the last Case Study of the day and I just happened to check my blackberry, not that I am addicted or not LOL! There it was, I just left the room and went into the lounge area. I was reading however, not understanding a word. I wanted that email to be positive and I would have been able to run back to the classroom and tell my coworkers that this is it, the program is back on track, but it did not happen that way. The email stated that they had been advised on a federal level that HOM orphanage would not be getting a license after all as they were suppose to after the last email we received. Because of that, our agency advised us that they were CLOSING the program on Friday June 19, 2009, unless they can receive clear evidence or re-licensing.

This is not good and I was not ready to deal with this in Ottawa. Yesterday was my Birthday and I was away from my dear husband and step-daughters. When I got back to the hotel after class, there was a dozen ROSES waiting for me. I felt so special and loved. My great step-daughter Nicole made the arrangements with her friend at the front desk. She is sooo special xooxx.

On my birthday, June 15, 2009, I was thinking of my dad in class. I was thinking that he would of probably had a hard time of my being away on my birthday if he would have been here but then again, I know he was with me. I was thinking in my mind that I wanted a sign from him. Weird COINCIDENCE happened right after that. I opened my bag that I had my treats in for no apparent reason and just looked inside. I saw a little piece of paper folded in half. I opened it and it was my dad’s appointment for his bone scan on the day he passed away, Feb 19, 2009. I just stared at it and thought to myself, this is my sign that I had asked for. Didn’t really understand why the date would be important but I just accepted it. Anyhoo, getting to where I was going with all this… After receiving that email today from our agency, I did not get upset, it hit me that I was really confident that this adoption was going to work out and we were not giving up and…. The sign my dad gave me was the 19th. He probably meant that that would be my Birthday gift from him. I will be able to enjoy the 19th and celebrate because it will be huge milestone for our journey. The 19th will no longer be a bad number remembering his death and the day we traveled, it will be a day to remember!

There’s my two cents on this whole email scenario. You might think I’m crazy but I believe it this and will keep fighting till my Kyanna is home. Maybe this blog is not suitable for all audiences but this is my stress reliever. I just type away and it makes me feel good.

Good night!

Miracles do happen - June 8th, 2009

Today I am the happiest person in the world. When I was driving to work this morning, I was listening to the radio and they were talking about father’s day. Tears started coming down my eyes. Every year for father’s day, my parents came to our place to celebrate because my birthday was always the same weekend or a weekend apart from father’s day. I was hurting so bad that I just wanted him to come back for my birthday. It's the only gift I want this year. I think my father heard me talk to him this morning because the last thing I thought would happen today was receive an email from Imagine. I was sure we would only get something by the end of the week. To my surprise right before lunch, we got an email saying that Imagine finally received the paperwork they were waiting for!!! Yoopiii! They said the DSW (Department of Social Welfare) are confident that HOM (Hands of Mercy) will be licensened for the new Child Reform Act within 2-4 weeks. After the licensing process, court dates and referrals will continue as normal.

I want to thank everyone that has helped us pray for this miracle to happen. When I saw the words… We have chosen to continue with the Ghana adoption program… I thought I was going to hit the roof at work. I was jumping for joy. I know that this might not be the last bump on this journey but it was surly one of the biggest one yet. I am grateful that we were able to pull through it and will continue to pray and wait for our little Kyanna to come home. I guess I got my birthday gift a week early. Jessica one of my blog friends who is also adopting from Ghana is celebrating her birthday today. I'm sure she could of not asked for a more wonderful gift that to receive that email today! I hope she enjoyed her special day.

Still on the same path.

Last night before we went to bed, Victor and I were talking about the adoption and looked at it in a positive way. We realized that maybe god is giving us a sign and the timing might not be right to have our Kyanna with us this winter. We might have to wait another year because something else might come up that we have to take care of. I know life is not always fare, but we did agree that we are not letting go and we will wait until it happens. I know that Victor is a bit older than I (hahah) and some people are saying he’s crazy to be thinking of raising another child at his age, but then again, it’s our lives and we can do what we want with it. When the time will come that Kyanna will be home with us, I don’t think we will be thinking what age we are or how hard it will be, we will be overwhelm with joy and will know from the bottom of our hearts that this was the right decision. You don’t need to be between a certain age to make a difference in the world, all you need is a loving couple that want to give someone a chance to live a wonderful life with our family.

Still standing on the edge of the cliff…

Other than still waiting to hear from Imagine next week with a verdict of is the Ghana program still operating or closing, I am still continuing to live my life. I am surely surprising myself by writing this down right now because I should be freaking out right now. I guess I am so used to fighting for what I want that it has become a second nature for me now in my life.

I spoke to Imagine this afternoon, one of the caseworkers told me that they had been waiting for the paperwork to come in from HoM (Orphanage) and without it, they cannot continue with the program. She said they are hearing that all is running smoothly and things are looking good, however it’s all in verbal communication. She said the Canadian High Commission are not accepting adoption from HoM and its not looking good because they cannot get the paperwork. I begged her to wait awhile longer so we can continue the process and she advised me that as some point they just have to let go. She said HoM had a few months to get the paperwork in and was not able to do so yet. She talked to me about other programs and options and I did not want to hear them. We are sticking with our gut feeling till the end and not giving up. We still have hope that this can all sort itself out. With everybody praying in each corner of Canada, I know we can make this work. Some call it a miracle some call it luck, call it whatever you want, it will happen.

Check out this link, you can see for yourself all the wonderful children waiting to be adopted. This is what I am praying for.

http://handsofmercy.shutterfly.com/370

On the website, it talks about the situation in Ghana at HoM orphanage. I truly believe that Past Deb will make this work. She is working so hard to get this program running. I pray for her strength and her good will to continue helping all these children.

A week in Sylvie's life

My week started off such on the wrong track and ended on a good note! With everything going on with the adoption process, work life is not much better. Thank god that my life at home is great! To start off with the adoption part, I am thanking Pastor Deb for staying in Ghana for another week to try and get documentation from Social Welfare that the Hands of Mercy Orphanage is indeed fully operational. I don’t know how I’ll ever be able to thank her. She is doing a difference in the world that means the world to me. I wish I had the courage and guts to do something like her.
I took Wednesday off work to go to my Naturopath in Saint-John, NB, about 1:30 drive from home. When I got back, I was so relaxed and enjoyed the rest of my afternoon cooking organic/Veggie meals. I had an awesome time in my kitchen. I was following recipes from a cookbook that one of my friends gave me. At the end of the afternoon, I was even making recipes for home made facial toner, moisturizers. I realized at that moment that life is surely not about work. I was having the time of my life alone in my kitchen with my dogs. I am thinking now that I will be taking days like this more often. It is good for my mind.
Friday, had to go back to work. Did not really have it in me so decided to make an appointment downstairs and go to the hairdresser. I told her to cut my hair and change the color. Well indeed did she listen to me. I can still remember the noise that the scissors made when she took out the big chuck Ikes!!! I walked back upstairs to work and felt like a totally new person. What an awesome feeling. I will post a picture of my new look sometimes this weekend. I am presently outside on the picnic table at 9:02 pm and not looking that great. I just came back from a walk with the dogs. Oh yes, I now just remembered why I started writing a new blog tonight. After supper, Victor, Nicole and I were having a discussion about the adoption and I told them that it’s now looking towards that I (we) would have to stay in Ghana for 90 days. They just looked at me with a funny face and did not know what to say. I told them straight forward that if that was the case, I was ready to go and would deal with it one way or the other. I know that this really not like me, but I would do anything at this point to get Kyanna home with us. I am totally seeing this as a great experience and will be grateful at the end that I did it. So here comes the funny part. Nicole said, ya really, you would leave Sam and George (my dogs) for 3 months? I said yes while looking at them straight in the eyes and told them that mommy was leaving for Africa for 3 months. They immediately jumped on the chair were I was sitting and just stared at me and stayed comely on the chair with me, meaning that they didn’t want me to leave. It was hilarious!!! I can’t imagine shipping my dogs to Africa so I guess they will have to stay home and wait for me. 

Praying for Kyanna

From what I can understand, God is there to help us out. If we talk to him, he listens. Well I’m talking from the bottom of my heart right now. I hope that God is listening right now and he can get the Canadian High Commission in Ghana to talk with the Director of Hands of Mercy. If everyone can pray for this to happen, the adoption process can continue. Like Elaine said in her email today, documentation is slower in Africa than here in Canada. There is nothing more that I want right now, than having that phone call for our referral. If I continue to believe that it will happen, my angles will move things around for me and make it a dream come true for me.

Not so ordinary day

This morning was not like any other morning. One thing that is the same, I had an extremely hard time to get out of bed hahah! Victor starts to tell me what time it is around 6AM but I can’t manage to get out of bed until 6:30, however this morning; I was bringing George to the vet to get spayed so I was able to sleep in till 7:30 :)
Once I got up, the plan was to bring George with me to drop her off at the vet and Sam would stay home. Well I had tears in my eyes, while I was walking out the door with George and Sam was just looking at us thinking, what did I do wrong? Why do I have to stay and she gets to go in the car? I managed to drive up to the main road and took out my cell and called my husband to see if he could bring Sam with him today to work. Having a dear husband that loves animals as much as I do, he did not hesitate one second and told me to bring her to Shediac. I did a u-turn all excited and came to get Sam. Once at the vet, my heart broke again when the vet tech took her by the leash and she did not want to follow her. She was looking back at me and was shaking. I had to take her and walk her in the back in a kennel, which she was never in before. What a morning. I cannot imagine what I will be like when we have our baby girl and she needs to see a doctor. I am going to go out of my mind.
While I was preoccupied at work, worrying about Sam and George, I had received an email from Imagine Adoption. Like usual, I stop breathing for a few seconds and then I make sure that I am alone to read the email incase I freak out. That email was really encouraging.
They said that Pastor Deb, who is the Director of the Orphanage met with the Dept of Social Welfare and it went well. They are going to have a part-time social worker for the dept. of Social Welfare assisting them to work on the adoption files. This is really good news. They said the children at the orphanage were doing really well and they were all happy. The only thing left to do before our file can be processed again is having the lawyer of Hands of Mercy (Orphanage) meet with the High Commission. They were not able to have a meeting yet, however they are working on it.
So everyone out there that are helping us with good thoughts and prayer, please continue because it is working.

The unknown is not that bad anymore

Well it’s been 3 weeks now, got nothing but 2 emails from Imagine saying that meetings are being held and things are going smoothly so far. It’s really frustrating but then again, what the F*%k can you do!!! On other topics, life is chaos at work right now. It’s like waking up one morning and we have to drive on the other side of a car like in Europe. I guess I just have to adjust and crash a few times on the way to my comfort zone. It seems that each day brings me a new obstacle and I have to defeat it. I am so use to the hurt now that I became a stronger person and I’m no longer sweating the small stuff.

I started reading more at night instead of staring at the TV and not even listening to the shows :) The last book I read was an interesting book that explains the perceptions of why you are where you are in life… Basically what our purpose is on earth. The book I read was ' The Celestine Prophecy' by James Redfield. I think the book made me realize that no matter how angry and how many sleepless night I have in regards to the adoption, whatever is meant to happened will happened. The book talks about COINSIDENCES. Every time I get a weird feeling that the adoption process will not work out, the song, AFRICA by Carl Wolf plays on the radio. If you read the book, you will know that there are no such things as a coincidence. It’s all meant to be :). Kind of weird stuff but I believe in it.
Anyways, it’s the May long weekend and I think I will go outside and hopefully someone will appear in my driveway and help me do some gardening. LOL!

My own theory

I actually have another theory of why this might all be happening to me. Before the news from Imagine last Friday I was constantly dealing with the pain of missing my dad. Since Friday, the pain of not having Kyanna kind of got on top. I am still thinking of my dad, but in a different way. I am thinking of him and asking him to help me in the situation that I’m in right now. Maybe I needed something really big to distract me and then when Imagine sends us the email that the program is back on track, I will be SUPER excited and will have no more pain. We’ll be able to continue our journey and plan our trip to Ghana.

Encouragement? Maybe :-)

Late yesterday afternoon April 29, 2009, I received an email from my CW that they were continuing to work towards a resolution with CHC and DoSW. They stated that the director of HoM was going to Ghana next week to meet with the authorities of DoSW and the orphanage legal counsel. This email was extremely encouraging to me. I can see that they are doing their best to resolve this issue ASAP.

My dear husband of mine came home from work last night and could see that I was not myself. He tried to comfort me and told me that it was all going to work out. For some reason, when he believes in something it always seems to turn on his side. The road may be long but he always gets to the end. After our talk, I decided to snap out of it and went to get a movie with the dogs. I rented Hotel for Dogs. It’s a childish movie, but it made me laugh and forget my pain.

How Ironic

In February, my mom and I went shopping for the nursery set. One of the pieces were on back order so we asked them to ship everything together. This was supposed to be an exciting moment when we would go pick up the boxes at our Sears Depot in Cap-Pelé. Well I got the call today that our set had arrived. Do you think I’m in the mood to go get it??? I am so sick to my stomach right now, it isn’t event funny. My head has been spinning all day.

Whoever is reading my blog, please pray that we can bring our girl home!

The shocking FACTS!

Well here it is...

Here is some information that has been going on with our adoption. At this point I am speechless.


The Canadian High Commission has concerns with respect to the Hands of Mercy orphanage in Ghana. The adoption authority (The Department of Social Welfare) has provided conflicting information about the orphanage to us (the agency), as well as to the Canadian High Commission. Given this, we are attempting to seek clarification in an effort to process our adoption files. Daily communication with Ghana is ongoing in order to seek a resolution as quickly as possible.We have been advised by the Department of Social Welfare that The Hands of Mercy Orphanage is not closed, and the Orphanage Director has further advised us that the home continues to operate and facilitate adoptions into the United States.

The Canadian High Commission is extremely hesitant to process adoption files and issue travel visas for Canadians wishing to adopt from Ghana.

So basicaly, the program is currently on hold, until a clear resolution can be found between Social Welfare, the orphanage, and the Canadian High Commission.


After this weekend, I had lots of time to process the news and came to the same conclusion as always. Whatever Victor and I want, we have to work EXTREAMLY hard to get it. Nothing is handed to us. We have to fight for everything we want so I am under the impression at this point that the battle is just staring to bring our baby girl home. I will certainly not give up. If I have to fight against a Country well so be it. I am up for the challenge.

Family and Friends are the BEST!

Family and Friends are the BEST!

April 25, 2009 – Last night for me did not end all that good. I did not sleep at all. The adoption was processing in my mind all night long. I was thinking, what I was going to do if I got a call from our SW next week and its bad news. Saturday morning, I got up and ran to my laptop to check my yahoo group and received an email from Isabelle telling me not to worry and call her. I decided to go jogging first to be able to relax for the rest of the day. I gave her a call after lunch and she explained to me that they went through the same thing when they were in the process of adopting to Ethiopia. She said it delayed the referral for 1 month. She said that when Imagine got the audit, they passed without any problem because they are all up to standard. That phone call made me feel so much better. I know that we are still not certain what the immigration part is all about. Hopefully our case worker will reply to my email on Monday with some answers.












Funny thing today, only in April and we were out sun tanning on patio, when I got back from jogging, I had a sunburn on my face. I kind of look like a raccoon LOL! Today is Renée’s 19 Birthday. We had a family super planed and because of the nice weather, it turned out to be a party full of family and friends. This is what happens when you live on the beach. I would not trade our place for the world. Friends and family are always dropping in to see us and we just love it. Having all these people at our place yesterday made me realize how fortunate we were to have such good people surrounding us. I was still thinking of the adoption during the day but it was again with excitement. I was back to my old self… I mean young self LOL!!!!

Weekend that did not start as planned

April 24, 2009

All week, it was announcing a sunny and warm weekend. We had a nice Friday evening planned out with friend for a BBQ at our place. Before I left from work, I received the Imagine Adoption Monthly Update email at work. I read the paragraph for Ghana about 4 times, not really understanding a word they were saying. It was basically saying that some information was being transmitted between Canadian High Commission Immigration in Accra, Ghana and the Hands of Mercy Orphanage. They also said that they were asking people to contact them prior to sending an application for Ghana. That just doesn’t sound good in any shape or form. To top it all off, all orphanages in Ghana are being inspected. So much for the smooth process that we were enjoying so far. It seems that something else had to hit me right in the face. So far my 2009 year has not started on the right track. I was driving home from work and was rushing to post a message on my yahoo group to see if other members understood that update. As I was about to write the email, I seen 2 new post, asking the same questions as I had. Let’s just say that my BBQ did not go as planned. I was not able to follow my friends conversations. I was in a total other zone and refreshing my yahoo screen every 5 minutes to see who else posted an update. By the end of the evening, after midnight, I got a little bit of hope from one of the families that posted a message that said that they had spoken to their social worker and Imagine was trying to resolve the issue with Immigration as quickly as possible. So at this point I am going crazy. We’ve gone such a long way to get where we are right now that I can’t afford to lose this wonderful excitement in my life. This is what’s keeping me going right now.

Tomorrow will be another day and hopefully I will be able to enjoy Renée, my stepdaughter’s 19 Birthday. I guess I will have to wait to talk to my case worker on Monday and see what she has to say.

That’s it for now.
Chow!

Good News

I am happy to announce that my cousin Chantal had a baby girl “Maika” Saturday, April 18,2009. I’m sure Kyanna will be excited to meet her cousin. Kyanna should be around the same age as Maika so hopfully they will be able to grow up together like I did with all my cousins. While growing, I lived very close to my cousins. After school, we were always outside playing ball or playing at someone's house. I know that its going to be different for our children because we dont live close to each other, however we have been able to maintain a close relationship so i'm sure our children will be able to do the same. Every summer, we started a tradition called the 'Cousin Bash'. It's a fun day that we gather up, do a potlock, setup tents and have bonfire.

I am going to be posting several picutres of my cousins and some dear friends of mine.






Birthday Party

Janie

Picture of me and Monique, my sister in law.

Me and my dear friend Monique.

Picture of the Cormier Family, Victor's side of the family. We have a family gathering ever summer.

Another post for my dad

Few weeks ago, I was still crying for no reason for my dad and got mad at myself. I walked up to the closet and got my sneakers, jacket and IPOD and just ran out the door and went for a run. For some odd reason, I did not feel out of breath. I have never ran before. Few days after I tried it again, and again and I can manage to run ‘au tour de Cap-Pele’ and back. It feels so good to just be able to run and feel good. My dad and I were always comparing how much exercise we had done during the day when we talked before I went to bed. Sometimes (a lot of time) he won. At one point, he was actually biking from Memramcook to my place in Cap-Pele. I think that I now have the determination to run because his presence is with me. He’s the one giving me the courage to do it. I am really thankful for that.

Here are 2 pictures of my dad and I xox...






Today, April 18, 2009, I sat down with a cup of tea after my run and red my whole blog archive. It feels so good to see how far we’ve come. Up until my dad’s funeral, I still had some fear of going to Ghana. Now, I am 100% ready. They could call me tonight and I would leave on the first flight to Ghana. I was laughing by myself earlier when I read the posting when I told my dad not to get too excited about the adoption because I was not sure that It would all workout and he looked at me like I had 3 heads and said that it would happened and we would make it happen no questions asked. LOL!

In an earlier post, I was saying how Victor and I changed our lives because of my dad. We are still seeing a Naturopath and feel good about our life change. I cook from scratch, eat healthy food and exercise more. I told Victor this morning how great I feel. I’ve never felt this healthy in my life. Even our dear friends, Monique and Louis started seeing our Naturopath. It feels good to see that my dad wanted to change his eating habits and live but unfortunately it was too late for him. Because of him, WE ( friends and family) our changing our eating habits, and are more health conscious. I’m sure he must feel so Empowered up there in heaven to see that he made an impact on all of us and we are continuing what he wanted to do…live.

I promise this will be the last posting on funeral stuff but I have to let it all out. If it wasn’t for my cousin, Margo we would of never had the opportunity to gain the knowledge in natural ways to heal your body. When Margo found out that my dad, her uncle was diagnose with cancer, she made phone calls, sent emails to try and help out my dad. For the 9 days my dad lived knowing he had cancer, Margo and her mother, my aunt Helene prepared my dad meals to try and boost his immune system. Because of them, I believed there was hope to save my dad. I thank her from the bottom of my heart for what she did. As well, I thank my whole family that were with us at the hospital and at home watching after him. That’s when you see that family is the most important thing in the world. It felt great to have there presence with us.

One thing that is keeping me strong as well is seeing how strong Nicole and Renée ( my step daughters) are. After going through the same emotions and lost of their mother, they are able to be happy again and go on with their lives. There is not one day that I don’t think of her either. I’m always thinking that she is looking after us and making sure her girls are fine. When I say that I believe that my father is watching over me, well I know for a fact that during Renée’s graduation last summer, Bernice was with us. There is no dough in my mind that she was celebrating with us. Last summer was a pretty busy time for us. Both Nicole and Renée graduated. Nicole from College in Ottawa and Renée from High School and then at the end of the same month in June, we decided to adopt. Funny how life turned a 90 degree for us. I’ve been with Victor for more than 12 years now, seen both girls grow up and we were saying how they are all grown up and now we would be able to be somewhat more free since the girls are now more independent and t hats when I panicked. I felt alone and it seemed that it was the end. What would we do now that Nicole and Renée are independent and they would no longer be relying on us. I think that’s what triggered my need to be a mommy. Before last summer, I had never really wanted to have a child. I have Nicole and Renee that I love and they are fulfilling my need to be a mother. I have enjoyed every minute of being part of their lives. I had accepted that we were going to be a family and that was it. Weird thing happened when Bernice, their mother was in the hospital before she passed away. I spend some time with her in the hospital and we had some great conversations. She made me realize how important life was and how to appreciate the time we have left to spend with the ones we love . After she passed away, we went through both graduations and my cousin Lisannes’s wedding and something happened to me. Every time I saw children, I had this weird feeling that I needed to love and comfort a child. I didn’t know what or why it was happening but it just wasn’t going away.



Nicole's Graduation in Ottawa.



Renée's Graduation in Cap-Pelé, NB


Well that’s it for now. I hope that my next posting will be our referral.

Hands of Mercy

Today, not able to get my mind off the adoption. I decided to go check out the Hands of Mercy Christian Outreach website. They posted some new information and pictures of the Imagine Adoption Headquarters in Accra.

This is a picture of Pastor Deborah who is the Founder and in charge of Public Relations of Hands of Mercy and Sue Hayhow, Founder/Executive Director of Imagine Adoption.